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Thread: HUMOR (Keep it clean)

  1. #16
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    I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court.

    I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.

    when the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

    Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response. And in classic style he did not bat an eye;

    "Got drunk one night and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son!"

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  3. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by schnooks1 View Post
    I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court.

    I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.

    when the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

    Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response. And in classic style he did not bat an eye;

    "Got drunk one night and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son!"
    That wasn't "clean".

  4. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by schnooks1 View Post
    I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court.

    I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.

    when the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

    Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response. And in classic style he did not bat an eye;

    "Got drunk one night and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son!"


    -----
    Though He slay me, I will trust in Him . . . (Job 13:15)


  5. #19

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    There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight.

    The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name.

    If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”
    Last edited by Broncolingus; 12-29-2007 at 09:34 PM.

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  7. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jody View Post
    That wasn't "clean".
    I too am offended.

    Report, pls...

    Great joke, BTW...

  8. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Broncolingus View Post
    There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight.

    The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name.

    If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”
    Are we talking about your next date here?

  9. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jody View Post
    Are we talking about your next date here?
    Could be...sounds like my kinda girl if you know what I mean.

  10. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Broncolingus View Post
    Could be...sounds like my kinda girl if you know what I mean.
    Since she can't swim in the midst of that field, she's a ringer!

  11. #24
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    This isn't really a joke.... but if you ever watched The Carol Burnette show.... These two guys would KILL me!!

    http://s274.photobucket.com/albums/j...=Dentist11.flv

  12. #25
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    This couple finding themselves in hard times decided it was best to give up their newborn twin boys for adoption. One went to live with a family in Israel and he was named A'mal and one went to live in Mexico and they named him Juan.

    The couple very distraught after having to give up their boys, recieved a surprise letter from Mexico and in it was a picture of Juan.
    Instead of being happy to have a picture, the wife was saddened, tears running from her eyes.


    The husband very confused by this.. said what is wrong, why aren't you happy with this great gift? She replied," I had twin boys but only have a picture of one."

    Her husband said, " Well if you've seen Juan....... you've seen A'mal.

    ba..dum... dum!

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  14. #26
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    Missouri is tall

  15. #27

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    Q: What does a tornado and a Nebraska cheerleader have in common?

    A: They both eventually end up in a trailer park.

    In honor of a few of you out there...
    Last edited by Broncolingus; 01-03-2008 at 10:56 AM.

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  17. #28

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    Ha, ha, ha...

  18. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Broncolingus View Post


    Ha, ha, ha...
    This will no longer be our mascot, no matter what they say


  19. #30

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jody View Post
    This will no longer be our mascot, no matter what they say

    I don't know...

    If Texas has BEVO...

    Colorado has Ralphie...

    OU has that huge Boom-Sooner wagon w/horses...


    I think what you posted really epitomizes what Husker football is all about these days.

    The Dapper Rat sounds good..

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