The pot doesn't make him a lazy person. I smoked pot daily for many years and went to work every day, paid my bills bought a house, etc.This could be a bit lengthy, so bare with me.
So there is this guy i know who is in his late 20's who i have known primarily though the internet since he was in his teens. My friendship with him obviously started with music because of the forum we were on and over the years we became good friends. In 2009 he and a few others that Missy and i befriended on that forum came to stay with us for our first MDF concert since we only live 15 minutes from the venue. Since then he has stayed with us a couple of other times during MDF events. He's a good guy aspiring to be a successful actor on the stage instead of movies. At one point in 2013 he had moved to Cali with his then girlfriend who was an aspiring actress and had done a couple of small movie roles.
But about a year after that they broke up and his plan was to move to New York to get into the stage acting scene (Broadway, etc) so he asked us if he could stay with us for a couple of months (this was in 2014). But what turned out as 2 months turned into 7 months. But we were even ok with that as he finally got a gig doing Buddy Holly where he would tour the country for a few months. What he has been doing since then is trying to line up gigs as often as possible because most times than not the production companies pay for your food and lodging as well as give you a salary. So right now my friend ends up staying with us maybe 2-3 months out of the year before going to do another show.
Unfortunately, there is a hangup with my friend.
He is a avid pot user, like everyday pot user. And while im not against him using the drug i find that it creates problems for him around the house. Keep in mind we do not charge him rent of any kind because we know he is a struggling actor. But the few things we do ask from him (lock the doors, dont leave the burner on the stove on, and not to smoke in the basement because of lack of ventilation) he cant seem to focus and remember to do. And its starting to wear on us a little bit. Even something as simple as washing dishes occasionally is too much of a task as we end up redoing a bunch of them because he doesnt clean them very well. Just last night we had to remind him about locking the back door and he said he understood but when Missy got up this morning it was unlocked. The sad thing is he admits that in the past he tends to wear on people who he has stayed with and i wonder if this lead to his breakup with the girl he was dating for 5 or so years.
Its like he just doesnt care and i feel like now that im kind of being taken advantage of and since ive been there before when i was younger its starting to bring up some negative vibes from me about him. The guy pays for very little and up until recently even his mother was paying for his cell phone bill. I have a feeling that im going to have a much deeper talk with him that could end up ending the friendship. I would hate for it to come to that but i fear that because of his pot use that he may end up getting us burglarized or burn the house down. And with 4 animals that Missy loves so much i think she would actually murder him if he did that. Sadly i think my friend has had it so good over the last few years that he thinks he can go through life living like a squatter which to me just isnt a viable option. So what or how do you guys think i should approach this? Is it time for me to give ultimatums and kick him out for good or what?
Sounds to me like he is taking advantage of your generosity, North.
I think you need to ask him to find another place to stay because it doesn't sound like you want to lose him as a friend.