Warning: This story contains graphic descriptions of self-harm, domestic violence and drug and alcohol use.
VANCE JOHNSON LEANS in real close, right up against his Zoom screen, and yanks his left sleeve up. His shirt says "Own Your Sobriety," and he is owning his sobriety right now. "Can you see this?" he asks.
The former Broncos receiver, part of the famed "Three Amigos" of the John Elway-era Denver teams, is holding up his forearm, where there's a horrific scar in the shape of a "C." He says he carved it into his arm with a knife one night when he was in yet another haze of drugs and alcohol. That night, he was in agony, again, and he just felt like he couldn't deal with another day. He'd hurt himself badly enough that he ended up in a coma, and awoke two weeks later to find he'd barely survived. Doctors had to transplant parts of his thigh to repair the deep damage he'd done to his arm.
He holds it up now, 12 years later, as a symbol of all the pain -- the pain he caused himself, the pain he caused to others. There was a lot to go around. He has been divorced eight times, had more affairs than he can remember, admitted to domestic violence in the past and is still working his way back into the lives of his six children. "I was a horrible man," he says.