Ugh.
There's not enough of this.
I grew up without a dad until I was about 10, and then it was summer visits until I misbehaved so much my sweet mom couldn't provide the discipline I needed, and moved to live with my dad.
During those first few summers he gave a consistent message of standing up for myself in the face of peer male intimidation. When it was just my mom, I was figuring it out myself and tended to avoid any conflict. Then I move in with my dad and that's just not acceptable--on pain of an asswhoop.
So it's middle school, and some kid decides it's pecking order time. I had just joined the school about 2/3ds of the way into the year, and Kenny (among many others) believes I'm an ideal target for asserting dominance. Like I said, I tend to avoid this shit, it just seems so idiotic. But we are something of animals it seems.
Now give me a bit of a break because I'm pretty cerebral, easy going, and resorting to violence seems suboptimal in general.
But this dude just wouldn't let it go. Just wanted to pick and pick.
So it's getting to a boiling point. I remember that one of my first friends at this new school, Mike Martinez, we would practice beatdown techniques on an Everlast punching bag my dad bought and filled with sand. Take turns with these invented combos. A game.
So finally one day during lunch recess Kenny provokes me, and all of a sudden it's a thing. Everyone is gathering around. Like...what is going to happen? And I was scared shitless, I'd never been in a fistfight. Kenny was periodically pushing me, but hadn't thrown a punch, was just jabbering smack.
I know I wouldn't have thrown a punch if my dad hadn't both presented the philosophical reasoning as well as the authoritative demand to defend myself over the course of time...but at some point I just nutted up, kinda blacked out a bit from the adrenaline, and went wild throwing punches at this dude. As Mike M. recounted, he just heard these loud cracks in fast succession as a flurry of blows connected with Kenny's face. I kind of 'came to' and realized I was chasing after Kenny, determined to deliver more physical punishment, but then it was broken up. Kenny and I made our peace after that, it turned out to be no big deal at all. Other comers came, one of them another new kid, and people learned that I would fight and beat anyone who insisted on a challenge. It culminated down the road in a confrontation with the baddest dude in high school, and it really soured me on society in general because it was manufactured by 'friends' that only wanted to witness a spectacle.
Sometimes I think about that, what it means to a young man to stand up for himself. I'm not sure how that plays out today. But I think it's pretty important, to deal with those underlying struggles for male dominance. Perhaps the anti-bullying and no-fighting campaigns are superior. Just something that I wonder about with my son.
I don't know, what do y'all think?
Bison are really cool animals.
There is a bison a few blocks from me.
I think it's important. Similar story except I always had my Dad, he taught me at a young age you never provoke but you stand up for yourself. I had a few dust ups throughout grade school, for a few years I went to a school in L.A. where I was bullied for not being Hispanic. Again, grade school so nothing big. We moved to PA when I was starting High School and I got trapped in the mid-year pecking order bullshit. Guy that had been jabbering at me for a few days screwed up by getting physical with a friend of mine. Shortly thereafter I was in my first real fight with a guy 2 years older and a lot bigger. It didn't go well for Earl. We never became friends, he was a bully shitbag of the highest order, but he didn't **** with me or my friends after that. We had a few run-ins after that, but it was always put down before it came to anything physical.
Got into a few scrapes in Dave's garage throughout high school, only one I can recall that was ugly.
I think defending yourself and learning to stand up to a bully is important for young men to do and learn
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