Thread: Need some advice

Originally Posted by Valar Morghulis

Slim is so mean!

I'm just misunderstood.

Originally Posted by Von Kinger

The 'nuanced' take of just saying that someone is enabling is as deep as a ******* puddle. Shit is more complicated than a snap decision that's basically an ideological determination.

^ That post was style. Slim is an alligator. I mean an allihater. I'm a crocodile. I mean a styledile.

This situation isn't very complicated, at least for someone reasonably intelligent.

Family first:

You should only offer conditions for his return if you and your wife actually want him back.

Well he doesn't pay rent but what contributions does he make?

Does he cook for everyone at times?
Does he contribute to groceries?
Does he clean?
Does he clean the bathroom?
Does he help with yard work? Raking, shoveling?

Originally Posted by slim

This situation isn't very complicated, at least for someone reasonably intelligent.

I'm glad that you've recognized your limits, Slim. We have one guy with a world of experience, including work experience, knowledge, education and insight into human behavior.

Then we have...Slim...

If I had a legal issue, I'd go to a lawyer. If I had an issue with my car, I'd go to a mechanic. If I needed cable I'd call Joe. Mortgage information I'd go to GEM. If I needed to pillage a village I'd call Northman. Etc.

Originally Posted by Von Kinger

I'm glad that you've recognized your limits, Slim. We have one guy with a world of experience, including work experience, knowledge, education and insight into human behavior.

Then we have...Slim...

If I had a legal issue, I'd go to a lawyer. If I had an issue with my car, I'd go to a mechanic. If I needed cable I'd call Joe. Mortgage information I'd go to GEM. If I needed to pillage a village I'd call Northman. Etc.

If I needed a blow job I'd call you!

Originally Posted by slim

If I needed a blow job I'd call you!

I cannot respond to this the way that I want to.

Originally Posted by Von Kinger

I cannot respond to this the way that I want to.

By giving him your cell?

North, sounds like the kid needs some tough love. I wouldn't let my sons do this, more or less, a friend. He needs to get his priorities straightened out, and quit taking advantage of you. You don't owe him a thing, because you've already gone beyond kindness and generosity.

Originally Posted by WTE

Well he doesn't pay rent but what contributions does he make?

Does he cook for everyone at times?

Occasionally he will buy a pizza or wings but for the most part Missy cooks and we try to share with him if he's in the mood. To his credit he buys and lives off his own groceries even though he eats kind of like a mouse. Which when i think about it is pretty amazing considering all the weed he smokes. My ass would either be sleeping or eating everything in sight.

Does he contribute to groceries?

No. See above.

Does he clean?

He occasionally takes out the trash and attempts to do dishes but again he cant seem to get them clean even with dish soap available. Not sure how anyone at his age does not know how to clean dishes properly but the struggle is real for him in that area.

Does he clean the bathroom?

No, and he at times can be quite messy but thats on more rare occasions.

Does he help with yard work? Raking, shoveling?

Nah, and to be honest there isnt much to shovel thankfully. Even if i asked him it probably would be done half assed. lol


I know it sounds like im trying to trash the guy but im really not. I know there are people who are just going to be who they are and its quite clear he is set in his own ways. I feel bad because like i said he is a good friend that i have had since around 2003 but since he has been out there and staying with us ive seen some of the problems that he has with motivation and respecting those around him. I know what its like to want/need help but i also know what its like when people use you and take advantage of you. I think this problem stems from his mother who tends to encourage this although im not sure she knows everything about his particular behavior. She was very nice and appreciative when i talked to her on the phone a couple of years back but she does seem to coddle him.

Im not angry or mad at Slim or Weasel about the way they address my friend as a freeloader. I dont think its a either/or issue here. I think this is a case of a guy who hasnt had to really work to have anything or become a productive member of society to the point of taking care of himself. And the problem i run into is that i now have to become the bad guy in order to light a fire under his ass. I cant change who he is and im not one to try and preach about changing who one is. But the safety concerns are legit concerns for Missy and i and while we dont have much ourselves what we do have is ours and we do have a lot to lose should something happen. Im glad you guys have chimed in though as what has been said is pretty much how i was feeling about the situation.

Are you mad at Dave and King? Cause those guys are dicks!

Originally Posted by slim

Are you mad at Dave and King? Cause those guys are dicks!

Nah,i love those damn message board freeloaders!

#Whatstyleisthis?
#Northstyle

It's not an either or scenario. That's pretty damn sharp.

I would give him one last chance after explaining everything to him. And let him know that this comes from a good place, and that you want him not just to lock the doors etc but also really follow through on his plans.

Originally Posted by Northman

Nah,i love those damn message board freeloaders! #Whatstyleisthis? #Northstyle

Hurry up and make me a sammich, I got a big audition tomorrow

Originally Posted by Northman

Nah,i love those damn message board freeloaders!

#Whatstyleisthis?
#Northstyle

You call me a freeloader and then you take my style?!!?!?!?

Mother ******! I taught the whole board how to style!