Thread: Mark Schlereth Insists His Panties Are In A Bit of A Wad!

And The Fascinating Story of Stink And The Muscle-Pig!

Stink says "his panties are in a wad" over the Broncos lack of movement in FA. He might be a bit over the top here (in my opinion) but he makes some valid points. And, as usual, he’s funny as hell with his “little Muscle-Pig story”. That cracks me up. Guy getting totally pissed at Stink, who was a 12 year veteran at that point, and this guy’s been on the team for 2 days:

Mark Schlereth “Clear the Air”: “All right guys, you know what? We’re in a little bit of a tissy here.”

Mike Evans: “Tizzy, not tissy! Tizzy! Ok, now continue.”

Schlereth: “Tizzy. Guys, we’re in a little bit of a wad here. My panties are in a wad. And I get it. You tipped your hand. You’re the Denver Broncos and you want Tony Romo. Listen, I want Tony Romo. Tony Romo is an elite level QB. I know, I know, everybody says “he’s made of Peanut Brittle.” Listen. The guy’s had some freak injuries. I get that. But, you know what? Tony Romo gives you the best chance to compete for a world championship and that’s what I want. I want the Broncos to compete for world championships. You’ve tipped your hand. There it is.

You know what we’re not even talking about? This defense. This defense is a championship caliber defense. This is a defense that went from the top 3 in defending the run a year ago [in 2015] to the bottom 20s last year. This is a defense where your former first round pick Sylvester Williams did not pan out as a full time nose guard. Did not play well enough. You lost Vance Walker in training camp. Jared Crick came in to play that five technique. That just didn’t go as well as planned. He’s a good football player, but he should not be the starting every down guy. So, you need to address that run defense. You knew you needed to get a nose guard. You knew you needed to get a five technique. You’ll in the market for Calais Campbell. Really good player. Jacksonville, you’re up to $13M or whatever it is a year, Jacksonville comes in there and adds another million on there and you say “welp, we’re out of the market now. You don’t get him. Branden Williams, a really good inside player re-signs with Baltimore. Nose Tackle Chris Baker [Redskins], another really good player decides not to sign here, decides to play somewhere else.

Now you haven’t addressed your offensive line, the tackle position. You don’t have your QB yet. He went from being released, no question about it, to ‘now he’s trade bait’. You didn’t address your defensive line. You didn’t address anything you needed to address! The Guard position. I applaud you. That’s great. But, there are some holes here guys. And I’m starting to wonder how you’re going to fill those holes because the bottom line is, you haven’t developed any offensive linemen who are worth their weight recently. And your defensive line? Your defensive line has some holes in it. Your defense has some potential holes. I tell you what: little bit nervous.

I am fairly hypocritical right now because I am one of the first guys to say “hey you don’t want to overpay in FA, blah, blah, blah. But there were some needs you needed to address, and I don’t know how you plan to address them going forward. It will be really interesting when they put their cleats on the grass!

Mike Evans: “Let’s take a breath. Day two of FA. And one thing we’ve all learned if we’re smart enough in following the NFL, is that winning free agency on day 1 doesn’t guarantee anything. In fact, most times it really doesn’t change anything. The best teams continue to be the best teams, and the worst teams continue to be the worst teams, no matter what happens on the first day of Free agency. The classic line is that your are paying “B+” players “A+” Money. So, are there still enough players out there in FA for you to feel like the Broncos can come out of this looking good along both lines. Because that’s really where this team (outside of QB) needs to be upgraded, defensive and offensive lines. Do you still believe there’s time?

MS: “Let’s talk defensive line first. I don’t mind them passing on Calais Campbell. Calais can be a one-man wrecking crew, but he can also disappear for long stretches. That one doesn’t bother me as much. It does matter to me that Branden Williams and Chris Baker are out there. Guys who can stuff the run in the middle. Guys who are really good players. You need that element to your defense. And those guys are gone.

I don’t know how many more run stuffing guys there are out there. And If you’re counting on one of the guys on your roster like Vance Walker to come back and be really good coming off ACL surgery, or you’re counting on Adam Gotsis to suddenly develop, and start playing great, I think that’s a little bit of a stretch. Offensive wise right now. I tell you at the LT position, if you’re good, you’re locked up. So, the guys who hit the market have questions. Whitworth is a really good player, but he’s going to be 36. He signed a 3 year deal at $15M a year. Russell Okung gave up a lot of pressures. Russell Okung is a guy a lot of people think “well, he’s not very good. Good riddance.” You had him at the potential of $11.5M a year. He signed for $13M plus a year.

Beachum. A decent player. He’s been hurt a lot [after this podcast, Kelvin Beachum signed a 3 year, $24,000,000 contract with the New York Jets, including $12,000,000 guaranteed, and an average annual salary of $8,000,000. Well there was your bargain priced FA T - $8M a year! ] Menelik Watson, former Raider, third year player, former second round draft pick. When he plays he plays pretty good. He just hasn’t played very much in 3 years he’s started 17 games, out of 48 possible games. He’s played in 27 of them.

The best ability is availability, especially as an OL, because you need continuity. You got rid of Russell Okung, and Donald Stephenson is still on your team? A guy who didn’t play well and didn’t seem at times to care? Yeah, I’m concerned.

Mike Evans: “I would love to be optimistic about what we’re seeing here. But, I guess we’re here to tell the truth and give our opinion. And we’re looking at a 9-7 football team, that is playing in the toughest division in football. That, on paper right now, has the toughest schedule, in the NFL. You gotta tell me if you feel we’re being too negative, that we’re missing something here. You tell us what we’re missing. What’s the old line? If you’re not getting better you’re getting worse. And I think you can say that right now they have gotten worse.

Stink: “If you want me to be Mr. Sunshine, and blow smoke up your skirt, you know, we can do that: [really fake voice] Yeah! Sambrailo’s really going to improve! HE’s really going to be great! We don’t need to go after a left tackle! That Schofield? Whoo-hooooo! Guys’ about ready to make that next charge!

Mike Evans: “Connor McGovern!”

Stink: “Connor McGovern! Big, strong, weight room guy! Ever tell you about my ‘weight room guy’ story? I’m sitting in the locker room one of my last years in football. Just in my shorts. My big fat gut hanging out over my skinny little legs. And I’m watching this little muscle-pig they signed walk around. Little muscle-pig. Defensive lineman. You know. Like 6’2”, 300 lbs. 6-pack abs. Just yoked. Really, really good in the weight room. You know, great weight room guy. And I’m staring at him. I’m just looking at him because his body is something to look at. And he looks at me. And I still don’t know his name. And he looks at me and he gets all in my grill. He’s across the locker room and he’s like ‘what are you staring at?!” And I saw, “whoa, whoa, whoa! I don’t want any trouble. I’m just going to tell you right now I’ve been in this league for a long time. I’ve played for 12 years and I’m just going to give you my honest opinion. ‘Dude. You’ve got way too many muscles to play good football.’ And he’s completely offended. And they cut him two days later. Little Muscle-Pig. That’s the way it goes Mike. That’s the way it goes. I don’t know how good the guys are ahead of him. But, weight room strength don’t mean nothing to me. How do you translate it to the football field?”

Mike Evans: “Ok, texters. I hear you. ‘In John we trust.’ OK. But, you have to understand that all we have to go by are the early returns. And those are not promising.

Stink: “It’s the end of the 3rd quarter and we’re down 21.”

"You, here's the interesting thing. You know, this is free agency. And you gotta get in bidding wars. And just because you're John Elway, and you've won championships, and you've done a lot of great things as a general manager, doesn't mean some young kid is going to say 'yeah, that's where I want to go.' It's about money talks and b.s. walks."

[When I was a child my cousin taught me that saying, "money talks and B.S. walks" and I've always remembered it. It's still true. You can talk about championships all you want, but the Broncos don't have Tom Brady. And they don't have Ben Roethlisberger, and they don't have Peyton Manning any more. This is no longer an elite team - unless they address all of these weaknesses. Not a couple of band-aids. A complete restructuring on both the offensive and defensive lines. The Patriots are moving on. They aren't sitting still. The Texans are preparing to go to the mattresses for Tony Romo. They are determined to beat the Broncos again in FA like they did in getting Osweiler. Well, that didn't work out, so they ruthlessly cut their losses, free up some cap space and move on. Instantly. No screwing around waiting for years for their QBs to "develop."

Tom Savage is about as promising a QB as Trevor Siemian, but the Texans figure just like the Broncos. 'We have a championship caliber defense with JJ Watt. We have a good OL and some real weapons on offense, but we need that elite QB to challenge the Patriots and Steelers. We need Tony Romo and we're determined to get him come Hell or High water! And they free up the cap room to go after him. And the Broncos who were sitting there complacently, waiting for the Cowboys to cut Romo? They get elbowed to the side! "We're taking your guy. Again!"

Maybe that doesn't work out. Maybe Romo gets hurt. But, you have to admire that take no prisoners attitude. They are determined to beat out the Broncos and they are doing it. As of right now, sources from within the Dallas lockerroom (defenders) say that as last seen he looks like the Romo of old, just shredding their defense in practices. Only because they have Dak looking so good are they letting Romo go, not because he can't still play. ]

Moar Mark Schlereth threadz11@!!!!!!!1!11!!!

I'm sorry for posting two of them, but after I typed up the transcript for the first one, I heard the second, and that "Mr. Muscle-Pig" story was so hilarious I just had to share it!

I've never heard that expression "little Muscle-Pig" before. That must be some kind of veteran offensive lineman expression for a guy who's awesome in the weight room and likes to strut around like he's some hot stuff, only he can't play a bit, and they cut him. Too muscled up for his own good. You need football muscles. This isn't the Mr. Olympia Weightlifting Contest. You have to be fluid enough to play. You can't just be totally yoked and too stiff to move and bend.

I don't know if his point about Connor McGovern is valid or not. But, he makes a decent point. Was it because Kubiak and his coaches were totally incompetent and just didn't develop players like Connor McGovern? Or were they right, and the guy is just a muscle-pig who can't play in the NFL? I guess we'll see this season whether he takes off and becomes a valuable starter, or whether he sits or gets cut.

I don't insist Stink is right about this, btw. Elway could have a trade in mind for an OT. I highly doubt it's Joe Thomas or Joe Staley, but it could be somebody. There are a couple of players that maybe if the Broncos were willing to part with a first or second round pick, or a good defensive player + maybe a 2nd round pick or something, maybe they could pry loose a starting caliber OL. That guy wouldn't be great or his team wouldn't give up on him.

But, surely they can find SOMEBODY to play LT just in case Menelik Watson plays about 6 games this season. Supposedly, he has played LT before, so he shouldn't be horrible. At least I hope not. Past seasons have conditioned me to expect the worst, however, like a whipped dog that cringes a bit when he sees the whip, even when he hasn't done anything wrong. I just don't know.

And that way they could have Donald Stephenson as a swing T, rather than having to depend on him as your starter. I don't know how they could look at Stephenson's play last season and say to themselves "yup! That sure is the guy I want at right tackle!"

How many Schlereth discussion thread do we need???

Originally Posted by LTC Pain

How many Schlereth discussion thread do we need???

ALL oF THem + MOaR

Thanks for the article, Cugel. Don't mind these guys. Bring on more Stink.

I'm pretty sure stink was quoted out of context here.

The Broncos currently have $70.000 in dead money, about $30 MM in cap space and a talented roster.

If only the Broncos were like the P*triots.

Originally Posted by Nomad

Thanks for the article, Cugel. Don't mind these guys. Bring on more Stink.

Alright! I will!

I challenge any of you who complain about my posting this to provide your own unique content. Where are your thought provoking articles? Do you do any research and try to add some insight, even if it's not 100% right every time, to this online community?

This is our innocent hobby after all, is it not? We are Broncos fans on this site. We are supposed to be interested in all things Broncos.

My friends mock me because I can give a commentary about Connor McGovern and rant about the Broncos OL woes. They consider me a bit obsessed with all things Broncos, but I view it as an innocent diversion. Given the state of the world today, I'd rather think about sports!

So, if some people don't like it, please just don't read it. And let me post amusing or interesting articles if I want to.

It's not as if everybody has to agree with everything Stink says. Hell, I'm not sure I agree with him 100% or even 80%.

I like Stink though, he DGAF.

Originally Posted by Cugel

Alright! I will!

I challenge any of you who complain about my posting this to provide your own unique content. Where are your thought provoking articles? Do you do any research and try to add some insight, even if it's not 100% right every time, to this online community?

This is our innocent hobby after all, is it not? We are Broncos fans on this site. We are supposed to be interested in all things Broncos.

My friends mock me because I can give a commentary about Connor McGovern and rant about the Broncos OL woes. They consider me a bit obsessed with all things Broncos, but I view it as an innocent diversion. Given the state of the world today, I'd rather think about sports!

So, if some people don't like it, please just don't read it. And let me post amusing or interesting articles if I want to.

It's not as if everybody has to agree with everything Stink says. Hell, I'm not sure I agree with him 100% or even 80%.

I like Stink. I believe your postings are well thought out. You do a good job.

I should probably post what I personally think, just so nobody thinks I posted Stink's rant because I 100% agree with him.

I think Vance Joseph tipped their hands when he commented that they try and fix their holes in their starting lineup during FA, not the draft. Vance Joseph said that if they didn't get it done in FA, they would have to look at doing a deal.

So, having failed to re-sign Russell Okung (which was their #1 choice at LT - just at a lower salary), and having failed to sign one since the LT FA class suddenly started getting $12M and $13M a year contracts, and 35 year old Whitworth got $15M a year.

Can you imagine a 35 year old LT getting $15M a year? Two years guaranteed contract, till he's 37? Well, that's a hell of a risky investment. Like buying real estate on the San Andreas Fault and hoping that the "Big One" never hits before you can sell it.

Well, having failed at FA, they now are down to Vance Joseph's comment "well, we'll have to deal." There's no guarantee they find a suitable trading partner of course. Normally, teams with decent starting quality LTs do not let them get away. The guys who hit FA are either older than the Hills like Whitworth, or else a bad injury risk (like Ryan Clady) or else underachievers with their first team (like Russell Okung).

In short, there's normally something serious wrong with them or they wouldn't be available in the first place. But, an upgrade is still an upgrade. They've got a guy in Menlik Watson, whom, if he can stay healthy, he could be a decent LT. Then they get by somehow with Donald Stephenson (bluh!), or Ty Sambrailo (hah!) or Michael Schofield (huh?) at RT. Or else they pick up a discarded veteran in July.

There is usually some over the hill guy who is a training camp casualty. He's making a decent amount of money, and they have got some young kid who's making peanuts on his rookie deal who is outplaying the old guy. And they look around and think "we could save some $4 or $5M on the cap if we let this guy go. We hate to lose his veteran leadership, but if he's not going to be our starter, can we really justify paying him $4- $6M a year? No. We have to let him go."

And the Broncos scoop him up. C Dan Koeppen was an example of this. He didn't have much left when he got to Denver, but he gave them 1 decent season. At least he wasn't a disaster. In fact they may need to pick up a veteran C capable of starting in Paradis' absence if he's slow to recover from him 2 hip surgeries.

Originally Posted by Jaded

The Broncos currently have $70.000 in dead money, about $30 MM in cap space and a talented roster.

If only the Broncos were like the P*triots.

Jaded, I'm salty over us not having Romo yet and probably not getting him.

Give me that straight talk - we clearly still have a playoff caliber team, right?

And if TS does improve and becomes....average...outside track at the SB, no?

Someone remind me when the last time was that the team that won free agency won the super bowl.