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Thread: The official teach Timmy about football thread

  1. #1
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    Default The official teach Timmy about football thread

    Yashala has discovered my terrible secret. I dont watch the games. 10 years of posting here, and I finally want to fit in. I implore my fellow Bronco fans, errrr, I mean you football gurus, to impart your knowledge on this lowly mountain oaf. I will start with a few questions I have:

    1. Where does all that loose change go? Getting a quarter back, or a dime back or even a nickel back would be neat. Free money right? Is there a drawing every game to see who wins the money?

    2. In a line stunt, what sort of stunts are preformed? Are we talking cartwheels or do they jump cars with bikes afterwards or something? I don't think I've seen this part before.

    3. What breed works best for a "zone dog?" I would bet something fast would be best, maybe a greyhound.

    4. Are actual convicts used in a jailbreak blitz?

    5. To save money, why don't the Broncos only use free safetys? I mean, I understand having a strong one and all, but if the other guy will work for free, why pay the strong one? This business model is flawed.

    6. When a player gets a sack, whats in it? Potatoes? Or is it like a gift bag sorta thing?

    7. With all these shotguns and pistols around, isn't there a danger of somebody getting shot?

    8. What measurements does a player need to be considered as having a "tight end?"
    Quote Originally Posted by King87 View Post
    All must hail NostraTimmy!
    Quote Originally Posted by chazoe60 View Post
    Nostratimmy was right again. All hail nostratimmy.
    Quote Originally Posted by MOtorboat View Post
    I’m the hobbit.

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    Timmy do you know what Icing the Kicker is?

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    Quote Originally Posted by WTE View Post
    Timmy do you know what Icing the Kicker is?
    I assume you meant deicing the kicker? Same process as a arrowplane (or whirlybird for you sophisticated types) I figure.
    Quote Originally Posted by King87 View Post
    All must hail NostraTimmy!
    Quote Originally Posted by chazoe60 View Post
    Nostratimmy was right again. All hail nostratimmy.
    Quote Originally Posted by MOtorboat View Post
    I’m the hobbit.

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    WTE

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    My wife always laughs at "tight end". We're so mature

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    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy! View Post
    Yashala has discovered my terrible secret. I dont watch the games. 10 years of posting here, and I finally want to fit in. I implore my fellow Bronco fans, errrr, I mean you football gurus, to impart your knowledge on this lowly mountain oaf. I will start with a few questions I have:

    1. Where does all that loose change go? Getting a quarter back, or a dime back or even a nickel back would be neat. Free money right? Is there a drawing every game to see who wins the money?
    No. It just goes to those damn owners.

    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy! View Post
    2. In a line stunt, what sort of stunts are preformed? Are we talking cartwheels or do they jump cars with bikes afterwards or something? I don't think I've seen this part before.
    Some good defenses, like the Broncos, perform their stunts with flaming hoops:

    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy! View Post
    3. What breed works best for a "zone dog?" I would bet something fast would be best, maybe a greyhound.
    Collie.

    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy! View Post
    4. Are actual convicts used in a jailbreak blitz?
    Depends on whether or not they went to the University of Miami.

    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy! View Post
    5. To save money, why don't the Broncos only use free safetys? I mean, I understand having a strong one and all, but if the other guy will work for free, why pay the strong one? This business model is flawed.
    Because Denver got a lot of dimebacks.

    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy! View Post
    6. When a player gets a sack, whats in it? Potatoes? Or is it like a gift bag sorta thing?
    iPod's, headphones, standard gift bag you might see at bowl games.

    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy! View Post
    7. With all these shotguns and pistols around, isn't there a danger of somebody getting shot?
    Only if Aqib Talib is drunk.

    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy! View Post
    8. What measurements does a player need to be considered as having a "tight end?"
    Like, maybe a 32 waist?
    *The statements above are my opinions, unless they are links, because then they are links, which wouldn't make them my opinions, and I suppose stats aren't necessarily opinion, but they are certainly presented to support an opinion. Proceed accordingly.

    Quote Originally Posted by Buff View Post
    What is this, amateur hour? It's TNF against the Jets and you didn't think you'd need extra booze?

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    Lame, you need to learn from playing Madden and FF like everyone else. There are no shortcuts.
    "Tuning ... into each other ... lift all higher”
    “I’m just different!”

    Sign Garbage Minshew.

    Draft
    1st round— Cooper Dejean CB
    2nd round— Jack Sawyer OLB
    3rd round— Will Shipley RB
    4th round— Ricky Pearsall WR
    5th round— Ladd McKonkey WR
    6th round— Cash Jones RB
    7th round— Carson Steele RB

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    If a defender bumps the receiver during an Ivy League game, shouldn't this be an "Illegal Charles"?

    "Icing the kicker" means trading him to Green Bay or Buffalo.

    If your tight end goes to prison, like Aaron Hernandez, he becomes a wide receiver. You don't want that.

    If a lineman reports as "eligible" can the others propose to him?

    If a player was "shaken up", why are they laying in a heap on the ground?

    If the word "Redskin" is racist, why aren't the Browns?

    You should join one of those classes that explain football to chicks, Timmy. Even if you don't get the answers to your questions, you are sure to have fun.
    I miss the old Mile High Stadium.

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    It's too bad you weren't the 4th string wide receiver in junior high. You could have learned the game inside the game.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Al Wilson 4 Mayor View Post
    It's too bad you weren't the 4th string wide receiver in junior high. You could have learned the game inside the game.
    He'd know the games coaches play within the game, the strategy of mother ******* equipment managers, medicinal staff, etc.

    He'd know so much.....

    Way to **** it all up, Timothy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaded View Post
    Y’all know I’m an OL Groupie but I think Jeudy is going to be worth missing out on a T, knock on wood.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Al Wilson 4 Mayor View Post
    It's too bad you weren't the 4th string wide receiver in junior high. You could have learned the game inside the game.
    I was a starting fullback. We are an unintelligent breed.
    Quote Originally Posted by King87 View Post
    All must hail NostraTimmy!
    Quote Originally Posted by chazoe60 View Post
    Nostratimmy was right again. All hail nostratimmy.
    Quote Originally Posted by MOtorboat View Post
    I’m the hobbit.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Von Kinger View Post
    He'd know the games coaches play within the game, the strategy of mother ******* equipment managers, medicinal staff, etc.

    He'd know so much.....

    Way to **** it all up, Timothy.
    Your Nihilism has inspired me. **** it, etc.
    Quote Originally Posted by King87 View Post
    All must hail NostraTimmy!
    Quote Originally Posted by chazoe60 View Post
    Nostratimmy was right again. All hail nostratimmy.
    Quote Originally Posted by MOtorboat View Post
    I’m the hobbit.

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    I know one thing you Broncos fans don't need a lesson on and that's the Chop Block. You got that baby mastered!

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    Can you teach Timmy how to deflate his balls?
    I miss the old Mile High Stadium.

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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeHoof View Post
    Can you teach Timmy how to deflate his balls?
    Timmy is too smart to fall for Fake News.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WTE View Post
    I know one thing you Broncos fans don't need a lesson on and that's the Chop Block. You got that baby mastered!
    Apparently you haven't paid much attention to the Broncos OL, the suck at everything except collecting paychecks.

    And btw, the chop block is illegal, maybe you're thinking of cut block. Which Denver isn't any good at either.
    "Tuning ... into each other ... lift all higher”
    “I’m just different!”

    Sign Garbage Minshew.

    Draft
    1st round— Cooper Dejean CB
    2nd round— Jack Sawyer OLB
    3rd round— Will Shipley RB
    4th round— Ricky Pearsall WR
    5th round— Ladd McKonkey WR
    6th round— Cash Jones RB
    7th round— Carson Steele RB

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