Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 18

Thread: The official teach Timmy about football thread

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Big Sky Country
    Posts
    17,289

    Default The official teach Timmy about football thread

    Shop Denver Broncos Super Bowl Gear
    Yashala has discovered my terrible secret. I dont watch the games. 10 years of posting here, and I finally want to fit in. I implore my fellow Bronco fans, errrr, I mean you football gurus, to impart your knowledge on this lowly mountain oaf. I will start with a few questions I have:

    1. Where does all that loose change go? Getting a quarter back, or a dime back or even a nickel back would be neat. Free money right? Is there a drawing every game to see who wins the money?

    2. In a line stunt, what sort of stunts are preformed? Are we talking cartwheels or do they jump cars with bikes afterwards or something? I don't think I've seen this part before.

    3. What breed works best for a "zone dog?" I would bet something fast would be best, maybe a greyhound.

    4. Are actual convicts used in a jailbreak blitz?

    5. To save money, why don't the Broncos only use free safetys? I mean, I understand having a strong one and all, but if the other guy will work for free, why pay the strong one? This business model is flawed.

    6. When a player gets a sack, whats in it? Potatoes? Or is it like a gift bag sorta thing?

    7. With all these shotguns and pistols around, isn't there a danger of somebody getting shot?

    8. What measurements does a player need to be considered as having a "tight end?"
    Quote Originally Posted by Joel View Post
    Timmy's right
    Quote Originally Posted by chazoe60 View Post
    Nostratimmy was right again. All hail nostratimmy.
    Quote Originally Posted by tomjonesrocks View Post

    Eat a Dick, Timmy.

  2. The Following 12 Users High Fived Timmy! For This Post:


  3. #2

    Default

    Timmy do you know what Icing the Kicker is?

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Big Sky Country
    Posts
    17,289

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by WTE View Post
    Timmy do you know what Icing the Kicker is?
    I assume you meant deicing the kicker? Same process as a arrowplane (or whirlybird for you sophisticated types) I figure.
    Quote Originally Posted by Joel View Post
    Timmy's right
    Quote Originally Posted by chazoe60 View Post
    Nostratimmy was right again. All hail nostratimmy.
    Quote Originally Posted by tomjonesrocks View Post

    Eat a Dick, Timmy.

  5. The Following User High Fived Timmy! For This Post:

    WTE

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Farmingdale, NY
    Posts
    6,906

    Default

    My wife always laughs at "tight end". We're so mature

  7. The Following User High Fived VonDoom For This Post:


  8. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Adopted Bronco:
    Bey Bey
    Posts
    74,670

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy! View Post
    Yashala has discovered my terrible secret. I dont watch the games. 10 years of posting here, and I finally want to fit in. I implore my fellow Bronco fans, errrr, I mean you football gurus, to impart your knowledge on this lowly mountain oaf. I will start with a few questions I have:

    1. Where does all that loose change go? Getting a quarter back, or a dime back or even a nickel back would be neat. Free money right? Is there a drawing every game to see who wins the money?
    No. It just goes to those damn owners.

    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy! View Post
    2. In a line stunt, what sort of stunts are preformed? Are we talking cartwheels or do they jump cars with bikes afterwards or something? I don't think I've seen this part before.
    Some good defenses, like the Broncos, perform their stunts with flaming hoops:

    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy! View Post
    3. What breed works best for a "zone dog?" I would bet something fast would be best, maybe a greyhound.
    Collie.

    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy! View Post
    4. Are actual convicts used in a jailbreak blitz?
    Depends on whether or not they went to the University of Miami.

    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy! View Post
    5. To save money, why don't the Broncos only use free safetys? I mean, I understand having a strong one and all, but if the other guy will work for free, why pay the strong one? This business model is flawed.
    Because Denver got a lot of dimebacks.

    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy! View Post
    6. When a player gets a sack, whats in it? Potatoes? Or is it like a gift bag sorta thing?
    iPod's, headphones, standard gift bag you might see at bowl games.

    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy! View Post
    7. With all these shotguns and pistols around, isn't there a danger of somebody getting shot?
    Only if Aqib Talib is drunk.

    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy! View Post
    8. What measurements does a player need to be considered as having a "tight end?"
    Like, maybe a 32 waist?
    *The statements above are my opinions, unless they are links, because then they are links, which wouldn't make them my opinions, and I suppose stats aren't necessarily opinion, but they are certainly presented to support an opinion. Proceed accordingly.

    Quote Originally Posted by Valar Morghulis View Post
    So many of my posts are genius I forget them
    Quote Originally Posted by Valar Morghulis View Post
    I wasn't being especially serious, I just thought you were retarded enough that your comment was genuine

  9. The Following 7 Users High Fived MOtorboat For This Post:


  10. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    My place in nowhere.
    Adopted Bronco:
    John F'n Elway
    Posts
    14,796

    Default

    Lame, you need to learn from playing Madden and FF like everyone else. There are no shortcuts.
    "Run through a mother****er face, they just ain't gonna want that."
    "You have to hate what you're firing at! Hate it!"

    Josh Allen QB
    Mike McGlinchey RT
    Saquon Barkley RB
    Royce Freeman RB
    Kalen Ballage RB
    Quentin Nelson RG
    Malik Jefferson ILB
    Derwin James SS
    Arden Key OLB

  11. The Following 2 Users High Fived Jaded For This Post:


  12. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Posts
    8,089

    Default

    If a defender bumps the receiver during an Ivy League game, shouldn't this be an "Illegal Charles"?

    "Icing the kicker" means trading him to Green Bay or Buffalo.

    If your tight end goes to prison, like Aaron Hernandez, he becomes a wide receiver. You don't want that.

    If a lineman reports as "eligible" can the others propose to him?

    If a player was "shaken up", why are they laying in a heap on the ground?

    If the word "Redskin" is racist, why aren't the Browns?

    You should join one of those classes that explain football to chicks, Timmy. Even if you don't get the answers to your questions, you are sure to have fun.
    I miss the old Mile High Stadium.

  13. #8

    Default

    It's too bad you weren't the 4th string wide receiver in junior high. You could have learned the game inside the game.

  14. The Following 4 Users High Fived Al Wilson 4 Mayor For This Post:


  15. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Adopted Bronco:
    PAXTON LYNCH
    Posts
    36,237

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Al Wilson 4 Mayor View Post
    It's too bad you weren't the 4th string wide receiver in junior high. You could have learned the game inside the game.
    He'd know the games coaches play within the game, the strategy of mother ******* equipment managers, medicinal staff, etc.

    He'd know so much.....

    Way to **** it all up, Timothy.
    I never treated you like a hype man!

    Quote Originally Posted by slim View Post
    #thatboydead

  16. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Big Sky Country
    Posts
    17,289

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Al Wilson 4 Mayor View Post
    It's too bad you weren't the 4th string wide receiver in junior high. You could have learned the game inside the game.
    I was a starting fullback. We are an unintelligent breed.
    Quote Originally Posted by Joel View Post
    Timmy's right
    Quote Originally Posted by chazoe60 View Post
    Nostratimmy was right again. All hail nostratimmy.
    Quote Originally Posted by tomjonesrocks View Post

    Eat a Dick, Timmy.

  17. The Following User High Fived Timmy! For This Post:


  18. #11
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Big Sky Country
    Posts
    17,289

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Von Kinger View Post
    He'd know the games coaches play within the game, the strategy of mother ******* equipment managers, medicinal staff, etc.

    He'd know so much.....

    Way to **** it all up, Timothy.
    Your Nihilism has inspired me. **** it, etc.
    Quote Originally Posted by Joel View Post
    Timmy's right
    Quote Originally Posted by chazoe60 View Post
    Nostratimmy was right again. All hail nostratimmy.
    Quote Originally Posted by tomjonesrocks View Post

    Eat a Dick, Timmy.

  19. #12

    Default

    I know one thing you Broncos fans don't need a lesson on and that's the Chop Block. You got that baby mastered!

  20. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Posts
    8,089

    Default

    Can you teach Timmy how to deflate his balls?
    I miss the old Mile High Stadium.

  21. The Following User High Fived OrangeHoof For This Post:


  22. #14

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeHoof View Post
    Can you teach Timmy how to deflate his balls?
    Timmy is too smart to fall for Fake News.

  23. #15
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    My place in nowhere.
    Adopted Bronco:
    John F'n Elway
    Posts
    14,796

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by WTE View Post
    I know one thing you Broncos fans don't need a lesson on and that's the Chop Block. You got that baby mastered!
    Apparently you haven't paid much attention to the Broncos OL, the suck at everything except collecting paychecks.

    And btw, the chop block is illegal, maybe you're thinking of cut block. Which Denver isn't any good at either.
    "Run through a mother****er face, they just ain't gonna want that."
    "You have to hate what you're firing at! Hate it!"

    Josh Allen QB
    Mike McGlinchey RT
    Saquon Barkley RB
    Royce Freeman RB
    Kalen Ballage RB
    Quentin Nelson RG
    Malik Jefferson ILB
    Derwin James SS
    Arden Key OLB

  24. The Following 3 Users High Fived Jaded For This Post:


Go
Shop AFC Champions and Super Bowl gear at the official online Pro Shop of the Denver Broncos!

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. The Official 2011-12 College Football Season Thread
    By OrangeHoof in forum High School and College
    Replies: 956
    Last Post: 01-09-2012, 10:43 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
status.broncosforums.com - BroncosForums status updates
dedicated servers
Partner with the USA Today Sports Media Group