I frankly think refs let defenses get away with a little more against us, figuring they need help, and when Decker jumps around screaming for flags (which he admittedly did too much) they're like, "You're still shattering passing records left and right: It's fine." But rules are supposed to maintain equal OPPORTUNITY, not handicap the most talented teams and/or boost the least talented so teams like the Jags can compete with teams like us. Except sometimes I wonder if that's NOT the idea with new NFL rules; no one (except us) will pay to watch us bury Jacksonville 108-0.
I also suspect that "all trees must be the same height" mentality makes it harder for our defense, because when they're wrestling with receivers for every pass, clubbing passers to the ground and decleating ball carriers refs are like, "Hey, it's 41-10; don't be a jerk about it." But it's a full contact sport, and taking the fourth quarter off means no new contract, whatever the score.
It's not all (and maybe not mostly) on refs though. Most of last year, I wondered how a team in TODAYS league could stay competitive with a bunch of guys suspended for doping; how it could get away with publicly PROUDLY calling itself "the Legion of Boom" in the arena flag football league. Then I finally realized their logic: If they all do it all the time, the league CAN'T catch EVERYONE EVERYTIME. Same rationale the Raiders used in the '70s: If we play dirty every down, we'll get the most penalties, but still get away with half of it; they can't see everything....
The difference is Seattle's made a science of it. There was an eye-opening article saw last year about the Seahawks runing EVERY PRACTICE with guys covered in armor and the no-no areas clearly marked so defenders learn where to deliver totally legal yet totally injurious early/late hits. They've done exactly what I said teams would do if the NFL focused on WHERE or HOW players tried to injure opponents instead of banning INTENTIONAL injuries themselves: Keep right on deliberately injuring opponents, and simply do it in areas that's still legal.
The difference between dirty & mean is trying to inflict injury rather than pain; apparently, the NFL still doesn't know—so teams like Seattle still don't CARE—about that: They don't HAVE to care.