My favorite songs of all time.
1 Pink Floyd, 'Time'
This is my favorite song. To say that you have to put everything in perspective. You have to put yourself at t=4, t=8, t=11, t=14, and so on, through t=present. Which time mattered the most? Is now the most important time, or was an earlier time more meaningful? I miss parts of those earlier times, but maybe it's just that best parts etched the fossil record to be remembered in these later days.
This song used to wash over me like an opiate. The early chords struck with the authority of math. The drums echoed in the distance, creating boundaries in space like a wall at the edges of the universe. The heartbeat reminded you of your very existence, which is constantly forgotten. It built to the inexorable conclusion of the drum intro to the main body of the song.
The lyrics, 'ticking away, the moments that make up a dull day. fritter and waste the hours in an off-hand way' define the theme of the song. It continues in a way that seemed to personally identify my existence at age 12. That was when this song was most meaningful to me. What a little turd I was!
The unhurried, magestic sweep of the song resonates with the very essence of time itself. The sustained notes of gilmour's solos are unerring and evocative of the swell and recourse of our pygmy emotions. To me this song accurately reflects this life. The lyrics resonate the message of the song particularly well.
2. Beatles 'Strawberry Fields Forever'
I'm convinced I was meant to be a British psychotropic visionary. I certainly was when I was into the Beatles and into particular this song, at age 11. To me the Beatles are the best band when judged by the whole body of work. I always identified with John Lennon, mainly because I viewed him as the brightest of the pack, something I wanted to be. I was already well used to offending, intimidating, and detaching myself from my peers by overt displays of intelligence. My self-defining moment came in kindergarten when we played 'around the world' with math flash cards and I was banned on that first day from ever playing again as I made two laps around the classroom before my teacher told me I had to sit down to give everyone else a chance to play. To me this was evidence I would use throughout my life to self-affirm superiority, for better or worse--mainly for worse. These days it's easier for me to see the flaws in my thinking, understand the advantages of my peers, and suppress the yen of my ego.
This is all a roundabout way of describing why I felt a particular kinship with John Lennon. I studied him quite industriously at that age. I read a biography that described how he then attempted a local record for jacking off five times consecutively; I then had a purpose. Somehow, I never actually made it around to trying any chemicals, I attribute this to my mother, for whom I am grateful beyond measure. There are many similarities between the youth of Lennon and my own youth. This song captures the insularity of our adolescent lives. BTW up to this point I did not have a dad, which may also provide an interesting background to the reader. 'Boy needs an ass-whuppin' is a response I would hope is shared by many.
3. Beastie Boys, Brass Monkey *or* Hit it Run, Run DMC
This was fourth grade. It's funny how you always think something is so special and unique to you but it's really shared by millions, or more. At least I do. My friend Jeff and I thought we were the only outlaws in fourth grade that had access to this album. We thought we were well into rap well before anyone else. I thought I could breakdance better than anyone. We had a talent show in sixth grade and Jeff, Sean, Don Hyun (chubby studious mature Korean kid who had a house that smelled like fish/squid--I understand the greater meaning of all this now after living in Korea for a year) and I were the "Kings of Rap". I was on turntable and also had my verse. I was no good, that's a fact. But we had our "Kings of Rap" act for the sixth grade talent show and damn proud. We worked hard to prepare. I tried to perfect my beatbox but it never quite got there. We ruined Jeff's dad's Herman's Hermits album with our scratching.
We were also the four ninja turtles at recess. Because of my name I was Leonardo, but I always wanted to be Michaelangelo, mainly because Leon was such a pitiful name in my estimation.
4. Tool, Stinkfist
This was around junior year at the air force academy. No, this was senior year. I was excited about the new tool album. I first heard Tool in '92 at Jeff's house when one of his friends was crazy about Opiate. I remember this because he (Jeff's friend Eric) was so incredibly prescient. It is things like that which give me hope that there are people in this world that can see the forest through the trees. I know that I cannot. I think we all know someone like that who is always out of step with the pack but ahead by a step. I think he was a fag too, but not sure what to make of that.
Anyway, this song was responsible for me going from a 3.9 gpa to a 1.5 gpa. I began to question meaning in a fundamental way that proved detrimental to performance. It became impossible to perform academically because getting these A's no longer had personal value. In any given subject it was a matter of choice to establish superiority and was therefore no longer interesting, and I attached a great deal of importance to academic superiority up to that point.
'not enough
I need more
nothing seems to satisfy
I don't want it
I just need it
to breathe
to feel
to know I'm alive'
'how can this mean anything to me
if I really don't feel anything at all.
I'll keep digging
until I feel something.'
Meet Mr. Self Destructive.
I think it's funny that Maynard was an academy alum; a glee club member even. Actually, he may have only been a prep student. Whatever. Maynard = hawgdriver in another life, a more talented life. This naturally leads to
#4 Tool, Parabola (w/ Parabol beforehand)
I like anything mathematical!
While I was in afghanistan a few years back I would listen to these songs over and over. The lyrics are a big part of the appeal. This song is existential to me, akin to Frankl's search for meaning but less Holocausty. Of all the songs on this list, this one most directly penetrates the essence of living.
From a very young age I have considered in stark wonderment my very being. Why am I? These arms, legs, brain, mind--this ME...what is all this? There is certainly a reason. This self-discourse defines reason. I am always talking to myself using logic. Otherwise there is madness. Yet this is thinly veiled madness--consider the alzheimers sufferers. Those memories crumble away like remote swirls of mid-Pacific waves breaking upon themselves, visible only to the most stubborn of terns set adrift by a gamma ray induced brainfart or scent of poontang on the wind or something.
What is this? Wide-eyed and hopeful. That's exactly what I am.
We barely remember what came before this precious moment. This is us. This is human. Alone among sparks we deem eternal; those others in this ether upon which we attach the greatest significance should they frown or smile.
And it is seriously ******* holy in my book, thank you so much Lord, and thank you for making the very act of belief in anything a choice.
ALIVE, I!
Plus this song rocks.
#5 Joy Division, Disorder
I remember this song well because I spent a day shoveling goat shit after I broke my dad's rear windshield and told him it was because I accidentally threw a piece of firewood through it (and of course I put a bunch of other firewood in the back as evidence of this need to gather firewood) when in reality it was because I took it out for a 'joyride' (I was 15) to go hang out with a friend and listen to the pogues, descendents, PIL, TSOL, and Joy Division. I locked the keys in the truck (exhibit A, superior intellect) and had no choice but to bust through the rear windshield and concoct some horseshit tale about firewood stacking. When dad got home (btw I failed out of junior high and was evicted to live with my dad who I had met a few years earlier) he bought the story at first. The next morning he said, 'the truck is running funny. you sure about your story?' *major hairy eyeball action* after I confessed (dumbass) I got an epic assbeating. It was truly penitentiary style as far as that kind of thing goes. Anyway, I spent the rest of that day shovelling goat shit into wheelbarrows that I would then transport to our garden, a couple hundred feet apart.
I don't know if you know much about goat shit, but it's a unique substance. When you mix it with straw and goat hoof action, it creates a weapons-grade anthracite-like ammonia crust that is well defended from common pitchfork and shovel techniques. You would unearth a layer of this fibrous material only to release molecules of what can only be described as the antimatter particles of anything that smells good. This I did on that glorious day, 66 wheelbarrows by nightfall as it turned out, all to the backdrop of Joy Division. When this song arrived in the rotation it was pure bliss. It's amazing how adaptable we are when you think about it. We can overcome any situation with our wee brains. Go brains!
I think I will finish with the other five songs later.