What do you find funny?
What do you find funny?
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Karma. Freaking hilarious.
Then you'll find me hilarious. I have no coordination.
I am the first to laugh when peeps get hurt, or recover from getting hurt. Like last year, when we were in Seattle, this one guy was running around a slick corner and almost biffed it. It was hilarious. I don't think he appreciated us laughing.
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My 4 year old singing the chorus to Dream On.
This space available for lease.
It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1960, and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue. He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
'Oh, come on in!' Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in. 'Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?'
'Iced tea, please,' Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.
'So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?' she asked.
'Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop, maybe take a walk on the beach...'
'Peggy likes to screw, you know,' Mom informed him.
'Really?' Fred replied; eyebrows rose.
'Oh yes,' the mother continued, 'When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!'
'Is that so?' asked Fred, incredulous. 'Yes,' said the mother. 'As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!'
'Well, thanks for the tip!' Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.
A moment later, Peggy Sue came d own the stairs looking pretty as a picture, wearing a pink blouse and a hoop skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.
'Have fun, kids!' the mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house and slammed the front door behind her.
'The Twist, Mom!' she angrily yelled to her mother in the kitchen.
'The bloody dance is called the Twist!'
A mother took her five-year-old son with her
To the bank on a busy lunchtime.
They got behind a very fat woman wearing a
Business suit complete with pager.
As they waited patiently, the little boy said loudly,
'Gee, she's fat!'
The mother bent down and whispered in
The little boys ear to be quiet.
A couple of minutes passed by and the little boy spread
His hands as far as they would go and announced;
'I'll bet her butt is this wide!'
The fat woman turns around and glares at the little boy.
The mother gave him a good telling off,
And told him to be quiet.
After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the lineine.
Just then, her pager began to emit a
Beep, beep, beep
The little boy yells out,
'Run for your life, she's backing up!!
Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.
Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions . Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.
Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include:
Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration
Loss of motor control
Loss of clothing
Loss of money
Loss of virginity
Table dancing
Headache
Dehydration
Dry mouth
And a desire to sing Karaoke
WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
After careful research one has learned that red wine and champagne may be interchangeable with the product - Margarita.
Please pass this on to your wives and girlfriends.
Don't let that inner shyness and low self esteem go untreated. Try Margarita, little salt and lime and you can get almost
anything down.........
I laugh at a lot of things, especially crude humor. I make light of a lot of things too. It is my way of coping with some things I can't experience or understand.
My favorite humor types:
-Crude humor. I laugh as much because I can't believe someone actually said something in addition to what they were actually saying.
-Subtle humor. Just really odd dialogue makes me LMAO. Think like Michael Cena... it's real high-brow, not quite witty, but just worded and enunciated correctly. There's a certain genius to it that I can appreciate.
-Stand up comedy. I love people's perspectives on things, no matter how repetitive the topics are (relationships, races, being fat, etc), especially eccentric guys like Zach Galifiniakis (he pronounces the word "character" with a "ch" sound... It's hilarious!)
I enjoy a little physical humor, but never when it's the central type of humor to a work. Situation comedy is usually alright, and I'll laugh (I laugh at plenty of things that others don't; I think things are funny), but it's not the best.
What's NOT funny is 30 Rock. It's just so... pretentious. It's like "hey, laugh at me because I'm witty and high brow, though there's very little that's funny about what I say..." It sucks.
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No.. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on 'START'..............
This is a funny clip from the old game show "The Newleywed Game....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3eNuuQdApo
My 5 favorite teams:
1.The Denver Broncos
2.The Ohio State Buckeyes
3.Any team that plays Michigan
4.The Pittsburgh Pirates
5.Oklahoma Lady Sooners Basketball Team
"Don't squander what you're given....make the most of precious time.....life's not only for the living...it's what you leave behind.....Brad Delp & Barry Goudreau
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