Conversation Between Freyaka and Davii

3 Visitor Messages

  1. I get where you're coming from. I have a nephew with downs and a very close friend's son has it as well. I just don't view communication that way. I would apologize to that man that people have treated him poorly to the point he finds the usage of a word distressing, especially when not used in reference to him. I get why he's upset by it, that doesn't mean he's correct in his feelings. It would be no different than a gay man getting offended everytime someone in England used the word "fag" asking for a cigarette. I get that the word CAN be offensive but if someone is unable to determine context and nuance in communications they're going to make life harder.
  2. To give you a little background as to why I feel this way and why I even brought it up. My wife used to work for a company that provided in home care for people with disabilities. I was over visiting her once while she was caring for a man who had downs syndrome. One of the sweetest people I've ever met. I was talking to her about something and I felt that was stupid and of course I blurted out "well that's retarded". You could see the poor guys demeanor instantly change. He went from happy to sad and quiet really quickly. My wife ripped my butt for it and I've avoided it ever since.

    I get where you are coming from, it's a word, it only holds the meaning the context utilized assigns to it, however, me personally, I'd rather find a different word than risk causing that sort of hurt again unintentionally. Hopefully that adds some clarity to where I am coming from.
  3. I'm not trying to give you a hard time, or attack you or anything of that nature. I like you man and I know you didn't mean it in a mean or offense manner. I understood the context you intended, but it isn't about context. That word, regardless of context causes a lot of hurt and pain to the individuals it is often directed towards. There are better words to use that convey the same meaning. I used to use the word a lot myself in my younger years, but I've phased it out of my vocabulary by seeing the way people with mental disabilities react to it's usage.

    Yes, the context you used it in, was not the same as using it as an insult towards someone with a mental disability, it doesn't have to be to cause hurt for those individuals. They hear that word and remember the times it was directed at them. Again, I've got no issue with you, and I wasn't offended, more just trying to make you think about it. I didn't think about it personally and used it freely because I didn't recognize the harm it caused.

    Like you said, in the context you used it in it meant foolish or stupid. Wouldn't it be easier to just say foolish or stupid rather than unintentionally causing someone pain? Just a thought, you be you and use it however you want. Just something to think about.
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