View Full Version : Darth Kubiak Destroys His Old Master

Broncos Mtnman
12-15-2007, 07:04 PM

DARTH KUBIAK: He is here...

GENERAL BOB MCNAIR: Obi-Mike Shanobi? What makes you think so?

DARTH KUBIAK: A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master.

GENERAL BOB MCNAIR: Surely he must be dead by now.

DARTH KUBIAK: Don't underestimate the power of the Orange Force.

GENERAL BOB MCNAIR: The Mastermind is extinct, his fire has gone out of the universe. You, my friend, are all that's left of his religion.


Obi-Mike hurries along the tunnel leading to the field. Just before he reaches it, Darth Kubiak steps into view at the end of the tunnel. Kubiak lights his saber. Obi-Mike also ignites his and steps slowly forward.

DARTH KUBIAK: I've been waiting for you, Obi-Mike. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.

The two warriors stand perfectly still for a few moments, sizing each other up and waiting for the right moment. Obi-Mike seems to be under increasing pressure and strain, as if an invisible weight were being placed upon him. He shakes his head and, blinking, tries to clear his eyes.

Obi-Mike makes a sudden lunge at the huge warrior but is checked by a lightning movement of The Texans Sith. A masterful slash stroke by Kubiak is blocked by the old Jedi. Another of the Jedi's blows is blocked, then countered. Obi-Mike moves around the Dark Lord and starts backing into the massive stadium.

DARTH KUBIAK: Your powers are weak, old man.

Just then, Darth Kubiak brings his sword down, cutting Obi-Mike in half, leaving the Dark Lord victorious over his old master.

In his first game as head coach against his former boss, Gary Kubiak proved to be the better man. By his own admission, Shanahan took the blame for not having his team ready for this "must-win" game. Too bad Kubiak didn't learn THAT lesson from his old boss. Instead, Kubiak had his team playing like it was the Super Bowl.

With the season essentially over (remember two weeks ago when I told you the fat lady was warming up?), the Broncos find themselves in unfamiliar territory. They will now use the last part of this season to begin evaluating next year's team.

I won't go into how disappointing this game was. So, let's just move right into this week's Four Downs....

The Good Stuff (just like two weeks ago, there isn't much)

1st - Brandon Marshall. With his 11 receptions, he became the first Bronco in team history to record back-to-back games with 10+ receptions. He also had 107 yards.

2nd - Tony Scheffler. Seven receptions for 100 yards and a TD. Who knows how different our record could have been had he not been recovering from a broken foot early in the season?

3rd - ZERO turnovers. Yeah, I know. There were a few close calls on some of Jay's throws, but it's always a good thing when your offense doesn't create any turnovers.

4th - DJ Williams. Seven tackles and two assisted tackles. It took most of the season, but it appears that DJ has become comfortable in the Mike position.

The Bad Stuff

1st - Run defense. Gary Kubiak took a page out of Shanahan's playbook in the 4th quarter when the defense allowed the Texans to gain 73 yards and two touchdowns.

2nd - Defense against the bootleg. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but the Broncos practically invent the play? It should have come as no surprise that Kubiak would use it against the Broncos.

"We had some trouble with it in Oakland, so we practiced it, albeit with the short week, but we practiced it," safety John Lynch said.

"Mike said 'they're coming with the bootleg.' "

And they made a couple of big plays off of it.

"When you're prepared like that . . . when you're supposed to be somewhere, you've got to be there," Lynch said.

Apparently, they were "somewhere," but not "there."

3rd - Pass defense. Last week, Daniel Graham was instrumental in stopping Jared Allen (Chiefs sack leader). With him going out early in the game, Mario Williams had little trouble getting to Cutler for 3.5 sacks.

Matt Lepsis was outmatched without the support, and Chad Mustard wasn't even close to Graham in his blocking abilities.

4th - Red Zone defense. The weaknesses above resulted in a defense that allowed the Texans to go 4/4 in the Red Zone. Enough said.

With the Broncos 6-8 and out of the playoff chase for the most part, Shanahan said he left a clear message for the team for its final two games.

"Don't play hard, work hard, your chances of being back aren't very good," Shanahan said.

Somehow, the term "too little - too late" comes to mind.


12-15-2007, 07:16 PM
"My name is ubidoob badoobi. I have the stupidest name in the universe."

"Well, what's your middle name?"

"Scooby Dooby"

"So your full name is ubidoob scooby dooby badoobi?"


12-15-2007, 08:01 PM
Nicely done, at least I got one chuckle out of the game now :laugh: