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View Full Version : The official teach Timmy about football thread



Timmy!
12-10-2016, 02:08 PM
Yashala has discovered my terrible secret. I dont watch the games. 10 years of posting here, and I finally want to fit in. I implore my fellow Bronco fans, errrr, I mean you football gurus, to impart your knowledge on this lowly mountain oaf. I will start with a few questions I have:

1. Where does all that loose change go? Getting a quarter back, or a dime back or even a nickel back would be neat. Free money right? Is there a drawing every game to see who wins the money?

2. In a line stunt, what sort of stunts are preformed? Are we talking cartwheels or do they jump cars with bikes afterwards or something? I don't think I've seen this part before.

3. What breed works best for a "zone dog?" I would bet something fast would be best, maybe a greyhound.

4. Are actual convicts used in a jailbreak blitz?

5. To save money, why don't the Broncos only use free safetys? I mean, I understand having a strong one and all, but if the other guy will work for free, why pay the strong one? This business model is flawed.

6. When a player gets a sack, whats in it? Potatoes? Or is it like a gift bag sorta thing?

7. With all these shotguns and pistols around, isn't there a danger of somebody getting shot?

8. What measurements does a player need to be considered as having a "tight end?"

WTE
12-10-2016, 02:58 PM
Timmy do you know what Icing the Kicker is?

Timmy!
12-10-2016, 03:57 PM
Timmy do you know what Icing the Kicker is?

I assume you meant deicing the kicker? Same process as a arrowplane (or whirlybird for you sophisticated types) I figure.

VonDoom
12-10-2016, 05:05 PM
My wife always laughs at "tight end". We're so mature

MOtorboat
12-10-2016, 05:33 PM
Yashala has discovered my terrible secret. I dont watch the games. 10 years of posting here, and I finally want to fit in. I implore my fellow Bronco fans, errrr, I mean you football gurus, to impart your knowledge on this lowly mountain oaf. I will start with a few questions I have:

1. Where does all that loose change go? Getting a quarter back, or a dime back or even a nickel back would be neat. Free money right? Is there a drawing every game to see who wins the money?

No. It just goes to those damn owners.


2. In a line stunt, what sort of stunts are preformed? Are we talking cartwheels or do they jump cars with bikes afterwards or something? I don't think I've seen this part before.

Some good defenses, like the Broncos, perform their stunts with flaming hoops:


3. What breed works best for a "zone dog?" I would bet something fast would be best, maybe a greyhound.

Collie.


4. Are actual convicts used in a jailbreak blitz?

Depends on whether or not they went to the University of Miami.


5. To save money, why don't the Broncos only use free safetys? I mean, I understand having a strong one and all, but if the other guy will work for free, why pay the strong one? This business model is flawed.

Because Denver got a lot of dimebacks.


6. When a player gets a sack, whats in it? Potatoes? Or is it like a gift bag sorta thing?

iPod's, headphones, standard gift bag you might see at bowl games.


7. With all these shotguns and pistols around, isn't there a danger of somebody getting shot?

Only if Aqib Talib is drunk.


8. What measurements does a player need to be considered as having a "tight end?"

Like, maybe a 32 waist?

Jaded
12-10-2016, 06:28 PM
Lame, you need to learn from playing Madden and FF like everyone else. There are no shortcuts.

OrangeHoof
12-10-2016, 06:32 PM
If a defender bumps the receiver during an Ivy League game, shouldn't this be an "Illegal Charles"?

"Icing the kicker" means trading him to Green Bay or Buffalo.

If your tight end goes to prison, like Aaron Hernandez, he becomes a wide receiver. You don't want that.

If a lineman reports as "eligible" can the others propose to him?

If a player was "shaken up", why are they laying in a heap on the ground?

If the word "Redskin" is racist, why aren't the Browns?

You should join one of those classes that explain football to chicks, Timmy. Even if you don't get the answers to your questions, you are sure to have fun.

Al Wilson 4 Mayor
12-10-2016, 06:39 PM
It's too bad you weren't the 4th string wide receiver in junior high. You could have learned the game inside the game.

King87
12-10-2016, 06:46 PM
It's too bad you weren't the 4th string wide receiver in junior high. You could have learned the game inside the game.

He'd know the games coaches play within the game, the strategy of mother ******* equipment managers, medicinal staff, etc.

He'd know so much.....

Way to **** it all up, Timothy.

Timmy!
12-10-2016, 09:12 PM
It's too bad you weren't the 4th string wide receiver in junior high. You could have learned the game inside the game.

I was a starting fullback. We are an unintelligent breed.

Timmy!
12-10-2016, 09:13 PM
He'd know the games coaches play within the game, the strategy of mother ******* equipment managers, medicinal staff, etc.

He'd know so much.....

Way to **** it all up, Timothy.

Your Nihilism has inspired me. **** it, etc.

WTE
12-10-2016, 09:36 PM
I know one thing you Broncos fans don't need a lesson on and that's the Chop Block. You got that baby mastered!

OrangeHoof
12-10-2016, 09:50 PM
Can you teach Timmy how to deflate his balls?

WTE
12-10-2016, 09:52 PM
Can you teach Timmy how to deflate his balls?

Timmy is too smart to fall for Fake News.

Jaded
12-11-2016, 12:28 AM
I know one thing you Broncos fans don't need a lesson on and that's the Chop Block. You got that baby mastered!

Apparently you haven't paid much attention to the Broncos OL, the suck at everything except collecting paychecks.

And btw, the chop block is illegal, maybe you're thinking of cut block. Which Denver isn't any good at either.

dogfish
05-28-2017, 01:05 AM
I was a starting fullback. We are an unintelligent breed.

too many hits to the head. . .

MOtorboat
05-28-2017, 01:35 AM
too many hits to the head. . .

So much wisdom here.

elsid13
05-28-2017, 07:20 AM
I think we need to start with the advance elements for Timmy - like this brown thing is a ball