Blade-runner" kills girlfriend

[Chef Zambini]

wtf?
can you guys believe this shit/
I am stunned.

[Buff]

The Onion's Tips For Not Accidentally Murdering Your Girlfriend


Remain generally cognizant of the fact that three gunshots to the head and torso will, in most situations, fatally wound a person, and that this fact will, therefore, likely apply to your girlfriend as well.
If there is a locked door in your home and there is even a remote possibility that the person you’re currently dating is behind that door and could be immediately killed by the bullets you fire at the door, try not to fire a gun directly at that door.
In general, if there is something that you think might cause your girlfriend to stop living, don’t do that thing.


http://www.theonion.com/articles/the-onions-tips-for-not-accidentally-murdering-you,31359/

[chazoe60]

Harrison Ford killed his girlfriend?

[Northman]

Dude's story is hilarious.

[weazel]

hey theres someone in the house, should I glance over and see if my girlfriend is still in bed with me or go grab my legs and gun and start shooting through the door?

bang, bang, bang, bang! well, that worked, but now I need to grab a cricket bat and start smashing skulls! hmmm, I wonder where my girlfriend is, I should have glanced to my right and seen if she was still in bed before I got up.

what a scumbag

[CoachChaz]

Except he says he didnt grab his legs and went into the room on his stumps

[weazel]

Except he says he didnt grab his legs and went into the room on his stumps

yeah but the cops say otherwise... he also said he was holding the steroids for a friend, so now he cant use roid rage as a plea

[Northman]

My girl is in the bathroom crying because of the fight we had but there's a intruder coming in the very bathroom she is in!!!! Nevermind for her safety must not let him get passed the locked door!!!!

[Kapaibro]

Yeah the whole "I heard a noise so started shooting" crap is just horrible.
Shouldn't the first thing you do is tell your bedmate to call the cops/security?

[chazoe60]

His story is ridiculous. He has no leg to stand on in court. ;)

[chazoe60]

This story has legs.

[chazoe60]

He was stumped and this story was the best he could come up with.

[chazoe60]

I hope that a lawyers will stump his cause.

[Northman]

He will get the short end of the stick.

[chazoe60]

If his lawyer can perform a miracle he may just walk.

[Rex]

Man. This story is tough. I really felt like someone had kneecapped me when I heard about it

[Northman]

Im sure its just a misunderstanding. This guy would gladly give an arm or leg to bring her back.

[Rex]

He shot her after screaming how he would put a "foot up her ass" and she laughed