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View Full Version : Dear Jay Cutler



dogfish
11-07-2008, 02:59 AM
This is your mission:

You're probably going to have to carry this team to the playoffs if it's going to get there. Your defense couldn't consistently stop a high school team with a freshman quarterback running the option, so please plan on scoring every time you get the ball. A score in the mid-thirties should be sufficient in most games, but be ready to put up more than that if it's not. Also, be prepared to overcome periodic special teams let downs.

And don't count on too much help from the running game-- the team's down to one legitimate healthy running back, and he happens to be a rookie fullback drafted in the seventh round (kid's got heart, though). The rest of your backs are no-names with about zero total NFL carries. Keep a close eye on that blood sugar-- you might have to throw it thirty-five or forty times a game from here on out. Would this be a bad time to mention that your number one receiver is having serious concentration problems and has developed a case of the dropsies? Or that your play-making tight end can't stay healthy? Yea, probably best not to dwell on those things right now. . . put it out of your mind!

After all, you need a clear head. You've got about no margin for error. Don't make any mistakes or throw any interceptions. The defense isn't going to bail you out, and the fan base will torch you online. The team has only won one game this year where you didn't throw multiple touchdowns, and still managed to lose two games where you did. But don't force any balls into coverage. Relax, no pressure. Think you're up to it?

Sincerely,

the Denver Broncos organization and fanbase