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G_Money
10-26-2008, 02:19 AM
Dear Coach/GM/Ubermensch Shanahan,

As you sit in your dark tower during this bye week, cackling to yourself and feasting on the life essences of small woodland creatures to keep your ghoul-like stare at a blistering level, I'd like to request a few small things.

But first, let me acknowledge what we all know:

1) You are our coach/GM/ubermensch for life. You aren't going to voluntarily relinquish all that mad power. It keeps you tanned and virile, and allows you to wallpaper your 50,000 square foot house with thousand dollar bills. I understand that. And Pat's not gonna deprive you of wallpaper. That'd be heartless, man.

2) You have been an offensive genius. You helped turn Steve Young into a HOF player, you gave John Elway the back-to-back Champ sendoff, you turned journeymen into thousand-yard backs and TD into an all-universe player. You gave Brister and Griese and Plummer the best seasons of their careers. Statues weep as you walk past them, for they can no longer see the offensive prowess written on your skull-like cheekbones.

3) You hate back-talk, and will give the kiss of death to whomever has the temerity to give you lip. It's gotten players fired or traded, coaches have been shown the door for glaring at the back of your head, and if Bowlen was ever cross with you I'm sure you'd have Guido and Nunzio rough him up in a dark alley. Not that he ever WOULD be, but you're definitely the resident mafioso of the Mountain Time Zone. Until someone guns you down in the street, all business in Denver is Your Business.

Now that I've acknowledged your obvious strength and power, please put down the bunny rabbit and listen carefully to what I'm about to tell you:

1) You don't know jack about defense. Really. I feel much the same way about you that Champ Bailey feels about Ron Jaworski: "He's okay when he's talking about offense, but man, I hate it when he starts breaking down defense. He's just so WRONG..." When you interfere with the DCs because they're not doing what you want, it just messes things up even further. Being a control freak is in your nature, but with some things it simply isn't helpful.

2) Please consider hiring a non-sycophantic defensive coordinator next time. I know you tried it with Ray Rhodes and he got on your last nerve, and with Bates and he made you want to eat his children - if only they weren't coaching your QB at the time - but please try again. Third time is the charm, I swear. You need someone who will tell you when you are wrong, and who will be RIGHT when they tell you that. And you need their help to correctly identify defensive talent acquisitions. Why?

3) You can't evaluate defensive talent very well other than the obvious "Champ can play"...and even with that you over-estimated his available impact on the team with the new defensive rules and our lack of pass-rush. You tried to build a defense from the secondary forward, except you screwed up at safety and are paying tens of millions to 2 corners who can't do their jobs, because our DL is a bunch of useless ninnies and our LB like to run into each other instead of the ball-carrier. Still, every year brings another chance to bring in a raft full of new players, new and experienced both, with which to try to correct this problem. Which means:

4) In this next draft we need at least what we needed from the 2008 draft for offense: 2 immediate impact starters and the seeds for several other starters and contributors in future years. It appears you completely bombed the defensive choices in 06, possibly with Thomas as an exception, and we can't afford for you to bomb like that again. We have about 5 years to get it right before our offensive kernel pops like Orville Redenbacher into fluffy confection with no hard nucleus. We can't waste any more drafts, or wait for any more DCs to prove how worthless they are. The next selection has to be the right one, even if he's not your best buddy.

You eat the livers of the weak and defenseless. You can live without an extra friend on the staff, can't you? :confused:

So, in order to help you with your selection of the next defensive guru (who might just be the first...) I thought I'd come up with a handy list for you to reference during the interview process:


Do not hire the interviewee if:

- He asks to kiss your ass at any time during the interview process.
- He brings his own shoe-shine guy to spit polish your loafers while you talk.
- He shows you his collection of Mike Shanahan Topps cards
- He has any photos in his wallet with your head pasted onto some guy's body standing next to a marlin
- He's from your alma mater and just hasn't broken in yet cuz The Man's Holding Him Down
- He has naked pictures of you, Bowlen and three river otters from that one night in Cancun

Please be aware that there are plenty of qualified candidates out there. They don't have to be long-time friends of yours or people who owe you money. Being a defensive coordinator is a good gig, even if the boss (ie, YOU) seems to have the quickest trigger finger in the west.

It might help matters if you and/or Mr. Bowlen would put out the word that the next guy to get the gig is going to get multiple years on the job to work out the kinks.

It would probably also help if you got down off your high horse and acknowledged not only that "mistakes were made" but that YOU made them, and you intend NOT to make the same ones in the future, or even worse ones.

We as fans know you are going to be around, sucking the souls of all Raiders coaches to power your master-mind for years to come. However, it HAS been a decade since you won that last title, and while most of us aren't exactly grabbing the torches and pitchforks just yet, we are eyeing your black tower rather seriously and muttering that there's been a lot of electricity and no show for a while now.

We would like for you to be a real life genius again and not just a paper one, so please allow someone to HELP YOU. Help him help you, Guru Shanahan. Help him help you.

This public service announcement has been brought to you by the letter X and the number 3.

Thank you,
Your loyal, frustrated, overly-critical, still grateful, wishful, pessimistic, manic-depressive, demanding and huggable fan base.

~G

sneakers
10-26-2008, 03:49 AM
How again is Shanahan Aryan? I thought he was Irish. :confused:

:lol:

JKcatch724
10-26-2008, 04:13 AM
Couldn't have said it better myself, Money. Great post.

Shanny, to sum up your point, needs to suck up his pride and put it in a jar on his desk so he can stare at it when he hires someone that logically disagrees with him.

Shanny can have all the offensive control he wants. I'm fine with that. He has earned that right at this point in his career, and I know he's a kid in a candy store with a quarterback like Cutler. It's up to somebody (Cough *Patty* Cough) to put him in his place when it comes to defense.

In the end, I feel like something like this WILL happen, because Shanny and Pat, Pat especially, have a real "commitment to excellence" (hehehe) and will make the sacrifices to get this organization where it needs to be, and more importantly, where they think it should be.

Scarface
10-26-2008, 08:53 AM
Shanny understands defense. He's stepped in and taken control a few times here and there with improvement. What he doesn't understand is how to evaluate defensive talent. That is where he gets burned time after time after time.

lex
10-26-2008, 09:13 AM
Shanny understands defense. He's stepped in and taken control a few times here and there with improvement. What he doesn't understand is how to evaluate defensive talent. That is where he gets burned time after time after time.

I dont know. I think its evident that Shanahan is willing to rely on others when it comes to evaluating talent. Its been observed by many that there has been a likely Goodman influence for the past 3 drafts, which most consider to be stellar overall, especially for offensive talent. So if he has been listening to Goodman since he has been in the fold, why would you not accept the likelihood that he was relying on Sundquist at one point the way he is currently relying on Goodman?

Hopefully, Goodman does for the defense what he has recently done for the offense and hopefully Denver would be willing to sign a DE FA such as Suggs or Pepper.

SR
10-26-2008, 10:05 AM
G, I have a man crush on you.

LRtagger
10-26-2008, 10:45 AM
G,

Please copy/paste and email to Shanny ASAP.

Thanks.

Superchop 7
10-26-2008, 11:33 AM
Just get Mike Nolan. (for d-co-ord)

Tell Tuten to change his workout regimen to include stretching before and during games.

Show more emotion during games.

Kick your players in the tail, they need it.

dogfish
10-26-2008, 08:00 PM
beautiful. . . .


once again, G shows that he really is money. . . .


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhmcJ7Zg5ko

DenverBronkHoes
10-26-2008, 11:15 PM
Bravo G!!!

Bravo


its too late though.....

DenverBronkHoes
10-26-2008, 11:17 PM
anyone who still thinks that Shanny doesnt have a say in EVERYTHING nuckin futts!!

haroldthebarrel
10-26-2008, 11:21 PM
anyone who still thinks that Shanny doesnt have a say in EVERYTHING nuckin futts!!

No but what we are saying is that Shanahan having a say in absolutely everything is nucking futts!!!

Retired_Member_001
10-27-2008, 02:18 AM
That was beautiful.

Broncolingus
10-27-2008, 02:26 AM
I wouldn't mind Nolan, but agree with EVERYONE that 1) Shanny needs to back out of the defensive player/personnel decision making (at least exclusively anyway) and 2) give whoever we friggin hire a season or two to turn things around.

Retired_Member_001
10-27-2008, 02:34 AM
I wouldn't mind Nolan, but agree with EVERYONE that 1) Shanny needs to back out of the defensive player/personnel decision making (at least exclusively anyway) and 2) give whoever we friggin hire a season or two to turn things around.

You must know Shanahan by now. He may do one of your two suggestions, but he'll NEVER do both.

He'll either:

1. Back out of personnel decisions, but still control gameplan decision making on defense and not give him more than a season.

2. Back out personnel decisions, allow the defensive co-ordinator to play defense his own way, but not give him more than a season.

3. Give him more than a season, but not give the defensive co-ordinator space to create his own defense.

dogfish
10-27-2008, 03:23 PM
man, we really need somebody like THIS (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYaDJ-WuuSY) -- somebody with some intensity, that isn't afraid to kick some ass when things aren't going well. . . when alex gibbs was here, he brought acccountability because he would rip into guys if they weren't getting it done. . . i haven't seen that on our sidelines since he left. . .

GEM
10-27-2008, 03:53 PM
G, I have a man crush on you.

All bases are covered as I have a woman crush on him. :D

LRtagger
10-27-2008, 04:15 PM
man, we really need somebody like THIS (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYaDJ-WuuSY) -- somebody with some intensity, that isn't afraid to kick some ass when things aren't going well. . . when alex gibbs was here, he brought acccountability because he would rip into guys if they weren't getting it done. . . i haven't seen that on our sidelines since he left. . .

I like Mike's intensity, but I don't agree with the way he handled that situation. I don't like how he sent the kid to the locker room and I don't like how he called him out in the post-game presser. The kid made a mental mistake, but it is only his second year (I think). To humiliate the kid like that could ultimately effect his confidence and, in turn, his career. Some of these young players have fragile egos and don't know how to handle being called out in front of millions of people.

Handle that type of thing in the locker room IMO. I have never appreciated coaches or players that call out another player or coach in the media. I didn't like it when Jay did it to Brandon, and I didnt like it when Mike did it yesterday. If you can't handle it behind closed doors, you have no business trying to handle it at all.

dogfish
10-27-2008, 05:50 PM
SINGLETARY WANTS TO GET RID OF “CANCERS”Posted by Mike Florio on October 27, 2008, 3:51 p.m.

As it turns out, Sunday’s eye-popping postgame press conference from new 49ers coach Mike Singletary was preceded by an even more fiery locker-room speech, during which Singletary promised to rid the team of “cancers.”

“There are some people in this room that don’t need to be here,” Singletary told the team, according to Michael Silver of Yahoo! Sports. “We’ve got guys in here that are cancers. The thing about cancer cells is, they multiply. We’ve got to cut them out.”

One of the tumors apparently is tight end Vernon Davis, whom Singletary booted after Davis was flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct.

“You don’t need to be sayin’ nothin’ to me right now,” Davis reportedly said as Singletary was in the process of chewing the third-year player out for his error.

“I said I don’t need to hear it,” Davis said.

And that’s when Singletary told the sixth overall pick in the 2006 draft to hit the showers.

One veteran defensive player praised the move to Silver: “Vernon does this crap all the time, and [former coach Mike] Nolan would always let it go. He created this monster.”

_______________________________



i say, bravo coach singletary! no way he should have to put up with bullshit from vernon davis-- the guy is a #6 overall pick that hasn't done anything on the field and has a terrible attitude. . . he screws up and then thinks he can tell the coach he doesn't want to hear about it? i think taking him out of the game is the only appropriate response. . . .


:salute:


i'm not trying to hi-jack G's thread with a protracted discussion of another team's disfunction, but i would love to have a guy like singletary that not only expects but demands professionalism from his players. . . when we have champ bailey saying that guys' attitudes suck on the field, it's clear to me that we need someone on the coaching staff who isn't going to put up with that shit. . . shanahan is a great X's and O's guy, but IMO we would really benefit from having someone on the other side of the ball (whether coach or player) that's going to get some attitude out of a group that's suffered from a major lack of heart since al wilson went down. . . .

Medford Bronco
10-27-2008, 07:03 PM
I wish Shanny had the balls of Singletary

get rid of the punks and dont put up with no crap and have
a team that gives a shit and will never quit on its coach.

G_Money
10-27-2008, 07:26 PM
Um...Shanahan cuts punks all the time. It's his fault for bringing them in in the first place, but he cuts idiots far faster than 90% of the coaches in the league, probably because he has the ultimate authority there and doesn't have to ask for permission.

And Singletary's been there for a couple of years now, and they still have cancers. He wasn't the guy in charge then, but he wasn't able to resolve it before.

Hopefully he can now, and this thing with Vernon is a good start. He's an overpaid POS with an attitude problem and no game to back it up. He's on pace for a measly 400 yards this year, and has less than a thousand in his whole career - 2 and a half years in. Which I guess isn't terrible, since that's just a little under where Scheffler is - but we didn't pay Scheff a ginormous signing bonus like the one VD got.

I admire Singletary a lot, though, and that press conference was great. He's my favorite MLB of all time. The memory of him standing Eric Dickerson up in the hole in the playoffs, man-to-man, no help, is seared into my brain as deeply as the Atwater-on-Okoye hit is. He was an incredible MLB, and the unquestioned leader of that defense.

I wish him nothing but the best in dealing with the myriad problems over there in SF left in Nolan's wake.

But he doesn't solve my DC problem, unfortunately.

~G

lex
10-27-2008, 07:55 PM
I like Mike's intensity, but I don't agree with the way he handled that situation. I don't like how he sent the kid to the locker room and I don't like how he called him out in the post-game presser. The kid made a mental mistake, but it is only his second year (I think). To humiliate the kid like that could ultimately effect his confidence and, in turn, his career. Some of these young players have fragile egos and don't know how to handle being called out in front of millions of people.

Handle that type of thing in the locker room IMO. I have never appreciated coaches or players that call out another player or coach in the media. I didn't like it when Jay did it to Brandon, and I didnt like it when Mike did it yesterday. If you can't handle it behind closed doors, you have no business trying to handle it at all.

I disagree. Maybe if kids are that way, its because theyre too coddled. The more accountable Davis is, the closer he is to being a good pro. It may not have seemed like THAT big of a deal except when youre trying to win football games and you have guys doing whatever they want, it is a big deal, especially in aggregate.

lex
10-27-2008, 07:59 PM
I wish Shanny had the balls of Singletary

get rid of the punks and dont put up with no crap and have
a team that gives a shit and will never quit on its coach.

He does. Thats what people kept saying after the SD game when he went for 2. Also, he does cut guys.

topscribe
10-27-2008, 08:47 PM
beautiful. . . .


once again, G shows that he really is money. . . .


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhmcJ7Zg5ko

So how did that turn out?

-----

topscribe
10-27-2008, 08:50 PM
All bases are covered as I have a woman crush on him. :D

GEM has a crush on you??







I hate you, G . . . :Cry:



-----

smith49
10-27-2008, 11:54 PM
Dear Coach/GM/Ubermensch Shanahan,

As you sit in your dark tower during this bye week, cackling to yourself and feasting on the life essences of small woodland creatures to keep your ghoul-like stare at a blistering level, I'd like to request a few small things.

But first, let me acknowledge what we all know:

1) You are our coach/GM/ubermensch for life. You aren't going to voluntarily relinquish all that mad power. It keeps you tanned and virile, and allows you to wallpaper your 50,000 square foot house with thousand dollar bills. I understand that. And Pat's not gonna deprive you of wallpaper. That'd be heartless, man.

2) You have been an offensive genius. You helped turn Steve Young into a HOF player, you gave John Elway the back-to-back Champ sendoff, you turned journeymen into thousand-yard backs and TD into an all-universe player. You gave Brister and Griese and Plummer the best seasons of their careers. Statues weep as you walk past them, for they can no longer see the offensive prowess written on your skull-like cheekbones.

3) You hate back-talk, and will give the kiss of death to whomever has the temerity to give you lip. It's gotten players fired or traded, coaches have been shown the door for glaring at the back of your head, and if Bowlen was ever cross with you I'm sure you'd have Guido and Nunzio rough him up in a dark alley. Not that he ever WOULD be, but you're definitely the resident mafioso of the Mountain Time Zone. Until someone guns you down in the street, all business in Denver is Your Business.

Now that I've acknowledged your obvious strength and power, please put down the bunny rabbit and listen carefully to what I'm about to tell you:

1) You don't know jack about defense. Really. I feel much the same way about you that Champ Bailey feels about Ron Jaworski: "He's okay when he's talking about offense, but man, I hate it when he starts breaking down defense. He's just so WRONG..." When you interfere with the DCs because they're not doing what you want, it just messes things up even further. Being a control freak is in your nature, but with some things it simply isn't helpful.

2) Please consider hiring a non-sycophantic defensive coordinator next time. I know you tried it with Ray Rhodes and he got on your last nerve, and with Bates and he made you want to eat his children - if only they weren't coaching your QB at the time - but please try again. Third time is the charm, I swear. You need someone who will tell you when you are wrong, and who will be RIGHT when they tell you that. And you need their help to correctly identify defensive talent acquisitions. Why?

3) You can't evaluate defensive talent very well other than the obvious "Champ can play"...and even with that you over-estimated his available impact on the team with the new defensive rules and our lack of pass-rush. You tried to build a defense from the secondary forward, except you screwed up at safety and are paying tens of millions to 2 corners who can't do their jobs, because our DL is a bunch of useless ninnies and our LB like to run into each other instead of the ball-carrier. Still, every year brings another chance to bring in a raft full of new players, new and experienced both, with which to try to correct this problem. Which means:

4) In this next draft we need at least what we needed from the 2008 draft for offense: 2 immediate impact starters and the seeds for several other starters and contributors in future years. It appears you completely bombed the defensive choices in 06, possibly with Thomas as an exception, and we can't afford for you to bomb like that again. We have about 5 years to get it right before our offensive kernel pops like Orville Redenbacher into fluffy confection with no hard nucleus. We can't waste any more drafts, or wait for any more DCs to prove how worthless they are. The next selection has to be the right one, even if he's not your best buddy.

You eat the livers of the weak and defenseless. You can live without an extra friend on the staff, can't you? :confused:

So, in order to help you with your selection of the next defensive guru (who might just be the first...) I thought I'd come up with a handy list for you to reference during the interview process:



Please be aware that there are plenty of qualified candidates out there. They don't have to be long-time friends of yours or people who owe you money. Being a defensive coordinator is a good gig, even if the boss (ie, YOU) seems to have the quickest trigger finger in the west.

It might help matters if you and/or Mr. Bowlen would put out the word that the next guy to get the gig is going to get multiple years on the job to work out the kinks.

It would probably also help if you got down off your high horse and acknowledged not only that "mistakes were made" but that YOU made them, and you intend NOT to make the same ones in the future, or even worse ones.

We as fans know you are going to be around, sucking the souls of all Raiders coaches to power your master-mind for years to come. However, it HAS been a decade since you won that last title, and while most of us aren't exactly grabbing the torches and pitchforks just yet, we are eyeing your black tower rather seriously and muttering that there's been a lot of electricity and no show for a while now.

We would like for you to be a real life genius again and not just a paper one, so please allow someone to HELP YOU. Help him help you, Guru Shanahan. Help him help you.

This public service announcement has been brought to you by the letter X and the number 3.

Thank you,
Your loyal, frustrated, overly-critical, still grateful, wishful, pessimistic, manic-depressive, demanding and huggable fan base.

~G




i have to say it G. of the several broncos sites i frequent, this post alone may be one of the funniest, and dead on the money i have ever read. well done.

Northman
10-27-2008, 11:57 PM
I like Mike's intensity, but I don't agree with the way he handled that situation. I don't like how he sent the kid to the locker room and I don't like how he called him out in the post-game presser. The kid made a mental mistake, but it is only his second year (I think). To humiliate the kid like that could ultimately effect his confidence and, in turn, his career. Some of these young players have fragile egos and don't know how to handle being called out in front of millions of people.

Handle that type of thing in the locker room IMO. I have never appreciated coaches or players that call out another player or coach in the media. I didn't like it when Jay did it to Brandon, and I didnt like it when Mike did it yesterday. If you can't handle it behind closed doors, you have no business trying to handle it at all.


Well, this is the first time Mike has been a Head Coach. So maybe they both should get a pass.

dogfish
10-28-2008, 12:17 AM
GEM has a crush on you??







I hate you, G . . . :Cry:



-----


don't feel bad, top-- at least clay likes you. . . .


:fear: :doh:

G_Money
10-28-2008, 01:06 AM
All bases are covered as I have a woman crush on him. :D

*laughs* Thanks y'all. I was just bored and decided to start like my 10th thread ever. Can't just hit reply ALL the time.

If you, Gem and I ever get together tho, SR, and you're pouring alcohol down my throat like it's the last day before Prohibition, I just have one reminder for you:

"Bros cannot make eye contact during a devil's three-way."

Don't worry, I'll wear it on a shirt. http://www.zazzle.com/the_bro_code_t_shirt-235941282846543865

~G

G_Money
10-28-2008, 01:10 AM
GEM has a crush on you??







I hate you, G . . . :Cry:



-----

Don't worry top, she's too classy for me to have a chance. :beer:

Though most of my relationships since 96 have started at least in part over the internet.

Maybe I really will wind up as one of Clay's wives... :confused:

~G

NightTrainLayne
10-28-2008, 08:43 AM
*laughs* Thanks y'all. I was just bored and decided to start like my 10th thread ever. Can't just hit reply ALL the time.

If you, Gem and I ever get together tho, SR, and you're pouring alcohol down my throat like it's the last day before Prohibition, I just have one reminder for you:

"Bros cannot make eye contact during a devil's three-way."

Don't worry, I'll wear it on a shirt. http://www.zazzle.com/the_bro_code_t_shirt-235941282846543865

~G

Wait a minute. . . .So what are you looking at? :lol: