PDA

View Full Version : Broncos Offensive Line Hoping Uniforms Make Them Look Fat



sneakers
10-04-2008, 06:50 AM
Interesting article I found.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/broncos_offensive_line



Broncos Offensive Line Hoping Uniforms Make Them Look Fat
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/NIB-Broncos-R.article_large.jpg

DENVER—Shortly after being physically dominated in a 33-19 loss to the Chiefs, the Broncos' comparatively diminutive offensive line expressed fears Sunday that their uniforms made them appear insufficiently large to be imposing to defenses. "The dark pants we wear are just so slimming," said Broncos center Casey Wiegmann, adding that a fuller cut would help make their legs appear larger. "Perhaps if we had horizontal stripes running across them we would look more meaty. I really like our white 'away' tops, but no matter what pads and foundation garments we try, they're still too fitted. Not to mention such a hassle to get grass stains out of." 305-pound right tackle Erik Pears said he would continue to wear three jerseys, a mock turtleneck sweater, several pairs of pants, half a dozen wristbands, and two sets of shoulder pads in an effort to look more stylishly obese.

Ziggy
10-04-2008, 08:24 AM
I'm hoping that people can see the sarcasm in this article. It's actually quite funny.

Dortoh
10-04-2008, 11:44 AM
hehe the onion is great

I suggest we have orange and blue vertical stripes on our unis to make us look taller

Dortoh
10-04-2008, 07:02 PM
Rugby, anyone?


hmm rugby is for men who like to touch men

broncosfanscott
10-04-2008, 08:29 PM
These two qoutes are just too darn funny. Good stuff.

"The dark pants we wear are just so slimming,"

"I really like our white 'away' tops, but no matter what pads and foundation garments we try, they're still too fitted. Not to mention such a hassle to get grass stains out of."