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Spiritguy
09-28-2010, 06:05 PM
(Mods, if this need to be moved do your thing).

Not normally the type to ask for help on a board but this is too much!!!

4 months ago (May) my 78 yr old mother got in a traffic accident. totalled the car, cracked 5 ribs (rt side), injured her left knee. We managed to get through that and while not rolling in abundance the bills were paid.

Come 2:30 am on the 24th of sept. She heard the dogs whining and decided for the first time since she got them 17 months ago that she was going to take them out to pee. Did I say it was 2:30 in the f'n morning? long story short. She got pulled off her feet and broke her hip. surgery, a pin and two screws later she is back from the hospital, and the wheel chair they got for her doesn't fit throught the damn BR door. WTF!!! Then the crap meds are almost $400.

I'm not the most nurturing person in the world and the accident pushed me hard. Now, instead of the 4-6 weeks for that "Healing" to take place were looking at 3 months. I'm about ready to pull what hair I have left on my head out.

Any prayers you can send this way will be greatly appreciated.

SG

Buff
09-28-2010, 06:41 PM
Hope it turns out well for her. And you.

My 85 year old grandmother felt it necessary to go try and pull weeds the other week and fell down and broke her knee cap. She's in an assisted living home now for another month or so because she can't get around without assistance.

I know it must be damn near impossible to lose your independence as you get older, so I definitely sympathize with her, but at the same time she's the stubborn type who wants to test her limitations and she's got 5 kids and 20 grandkids who are all around and would have helped if she'd have asked. I'm not mad at her or anything, but it's like c'mon Grandma, let the family help you so that stuff like this doesn't happen.

Spiritguy
09-28-2010, 06:51 PM
probably one of the hardest things about getting older is recognizing that there are things that you can't / shouldn't do anymore. It's like admitting defeat or somethings. Thanks for your thoughts.

KCL
09-28-2010, 06:51 PM
I am so sorry to hear that and my thoughts are with you as well as with your mother.My mom and dad died when I was younger so I have never known what it was like to have to take care of an elderly parent...I've heard plenty of stories from my friends.

Hang in there! I wish I had more encouraging words to tell you!

I hope she feels better soon!

Softskull
09-28-2010, 07:35 PM
probably one of the hardest things about getting older is recognizing that there are things that you can't / shouldn't do anymore. It's like admitting defeat or somethings. Thanks for your thoughts.

Sorry SG and hope things go well. Storyies like yours and Buff's make me wish to die in a horrific and final firey car crash shortly after my 70th birthday. I'm that same type that always thinks I can do something far beyond my physical capabilities.

Spiritguy
09-28-2010, 07:43 PM
I know what you mean Softskull. How about the day before you would otherwise be limited/ incapacitated? That way you can live your life to it's fullest and check out just before it gets bad. :listen:

I tend to be the same way. :D

Spiritguy
09-28-2010, 07:45 PM
sorry to hear that you didn't have more time with your parents KCL. It's a mixed blessing to be sure. You miss those special times but are not put in a place to deal with the struggles.

Denver Native (Carol)
09-28-2010, 08:06 PM
So sorry to hear Spirit - prayers for your Mom and you. Hang in there, it will be ok. Just part of life - take it one day at a time.

Denver Native (Carol)
09-28-2010, 08:07 PM
Hope it turns out well for her. And you.

My 85 year old grandmother felt it necessary to go try and pull weeds the other week and fell down and broke her knee cap. She's in an assisted living home now for another month or so because she can't get around without assistance.

I know it must be damn near impossible to lose your independence as you get older, so I definitely sympathize with her, but at the same time she's the stubborn type who wants to test her limitations and she's got 5 kids and 20 grandkids who are all around and would have helped if she'd have asked. I'm not mad at her or anything, but it's like c'mon Grandma, let the family help you so that stuff like this doesn't happen.

Buff - sorry to hear about your Grandma, but I would much prefer seeing an elderly "stubborn" person, who wants to be active, rather than one who has given up.

roomemp
09-28-2010, 08:22 PM
You and your family will be in my prayers. Your mom sounds like a real tough person. She will fight through. Stay strong. Easier said than done I am sure though.

OrangeHoof
09-28-2010, 08:37 PM
My sister just went through about six years of this before my mom passed away last December. There are support groups online although I can't give you a URL for one. My sister complained (jokingly) that we siblings didn't provide as much drama for their discussions as some of the other families. "You all just agree too much," she said. I told my sister if there was any inheritance left, she was welcome to my share because she earned every penny of it.

Spiritguy
09-28-2010, 08:42 PM
Think we will be in a similar position with a sibling Orangehoof. My younger sis and I are here with mom and older sis is in KY. Not sure she would be as gracious as far as inheritance goes. :laugh: then again, if she wants to share in the bills (inheritance) i'm ok with that. :D

I Eat Staples
09-28-2010, 08:54 PM
I'll be keeping you and your mom in my prayers. I hope she gets well soon, and I wish you and her the best through this stage of her life.

jhildebrand
09-28-2010, 08:59 PM
I will definitely be thinking about and praying for the both of you! May your mother have a speedy recovery.

Buff
09-28-2010, 09:02 PM
Buff - sorry to hear about your Grandma, but I would much prefer seeing an elderly "stubborn" person, who wants to be active, rather than one who has given up.

I totally agree... But I feel bad that now she's laid up for more than a month and can't go home because she wanted to pull a couple damn weeds. So you want to give her some tough love and tell her to stop, but at the same time, how can you blame her for wanting to do things on her own? You can't.

dogfish
09-28-2010, 09:06 PM
sorry to hear that, man. . . hang in there!

pnbronco
09-28-2010, 09:41 PM
I totally agree... But I feel bad that now she's laid up for more than a month and can't go home because she wanted to pull a couple damn weeds. So you want to give her some tough love and tell her to stop, but at the same time, how can you blame her for wanting to do things on her own? You can't.

Buff I understand both sides I think. You don't want your family to get hurt, but also don't want them to wither away and just give up. I have no idea what the balance is.

I posted all the stuff I went through with Dad, he was in the hospital 5 times in 7 weeks this Spring. The day my daughter graduated from college I got a call that he was throwing up blood and my brother was going down to see him and put in a DNR. This was after he had gone through the 2 surgeries. It was just hell. Well he recovered from everything and 3 weeks later put on a new roof on his house at 85. I was shocked but I couldn't stop smiling at the same time. It was so painful to see him look so helpless when he was so sick. I was glad he was able to claim a little of his life back.

gobroncsnv
09-28-2010, 10:53 PM
God Bless you guys in this situation. My folks are getting up there in years, so are the wife's. Her Dad's in probably the middle stages of Alzheimer's. It's kind of wierd watching people who have been fairly hearty start to slow down for the various reasons.
Take care, man. Grace can get you through a lot of stuff, just know in Who to put your trust.

Spiritguy
09-29-2010, 09:31 AM
I went through the alzheimers experience with my maternal Grandmother when I was in my teens. It was indeed odd. One day (from a kids perception, I'm 52 now) the person is out and about and the next they are forgetting how to do things. She ended up in a nursing home for about 10 years.

Mom, sis and I went in to visit her for thanksgiving one year and for the first time in those ten years her eyes were clear and alert. She actually knew who we were. We spent about 2 hours visiting and got a call a few days later that she had passed.

Life is indeed interesting.

OrangeHoof
09-29-2010, 01:32 PM
Mom, sis and I went in to visit her for thanksgiving one year and for the first time in those ten years her eyes were clear and alert. She actually knew who we were. We spent about 2 hours visiting and got a call a few days later that she had passed.

Life is indeed interesting.

I visited my mom last Thanksgiving at a nursing home and my sister and I smuggled her out and took her to a favorite seafood place a few blocks away. My sister had to actually feed my mom because she couldn't lift the fork to her mouth. She was not very lucid as we tried to have a conversation.

On the following Monday before I drove back home, I dropped in on her and she was as alert and bright-eyed as I had seen in years. As it was time to leave, I looked back and told her "be tough" and she gave a warm smile. A few days later, she had a stroke and passed away the following morning.

I felt I got a blessing to see my mom one last time as I wanted to remember her. It seems not uncommon for family members to have similar experiences with aging family that has been in declining health for a long time.