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LoyalSoldier
05-23-2008, 12:41 AM
One day this Broncos fan was driving down a bridge and all of a sudden he loses control of his car and slams into another cars. When the other driver gets out he sees that the other driver is a Raiders fan. The Raiders fan says "Are you alright? I lost control of my car"

Both drivers decided this was an omen that they should put aside their sports rivalry. So the Broncos fan said "Here let's become brothers, I have a bottle of whiskey in the back. So he hands the bottle to the Raiders fan and the Raiders fan takes a huge swig of the Whiskey. After the Raiders fan was finished he tries to hand it back to the Broncos fan, but the Broncos fan said

"Oh no thanks, I'll wait for the cops."

Nature Boy
05-23-2008, 12:45 AM
Old joke. Someone just plugged in the Broncos and Raiders fans as the drivers.

LoyalSoldier
05-23-2008, 02:55 AM
Old joke. Someone just plugged in the Broncos and Raiders fans as the drivers.

So post some new ones then. Kind of the whole point of the thread......:coffee:

WARHORSE
05-23-2008, 04:47 AM
Wrong forum.

Hoshdude7
05-23-2008, 11:55 AM
George Foster.

shank
05-23-2008, 12:02 PM
George Foster.

legit loler

BroncoJoe
05-23-2008, 12:11 PM
The Raiders.

BOSSHOGG30
05-23-2008, 12:15 PM
A football coach walked into the locker room before a game. He looked over to his new signing and said, 'I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed arithmetic, but we need you to be in the team. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right then you will be allowed to play.'

The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, 'Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?'

The player thought for a moment and then answered, '4?'

'Did you say 4?' the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it correct.

Suddenly all the other players on the team began shouting..., 'Come on coach, give him another chance!'

BOSSHOGG30
05-23-2008, 12:19 PM
So Al Davis had put together the perfect Raiders team for '98. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn't find a ringer quarterback that would ensure a SuperBowl win. Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Bosnia. In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 200 yards away, ka-boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards away-ka-blooey! A car passes going 90 miles an hour-bulls-eye! Right into the barely open window. "I've got to get this guy," Al says to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So he brings him to the states and teaches him the great game of football. Predictably, the young man breaks all the NFL records for completed passes, and the Raiders go on to win the SuperBowl. The young Bosnian is lionized as the Great Hero of SuperBowl XXXI, and when Al asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call his mother. "Mom," the young man says into the receiver, "I just won the SuperBowl." "I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us. You're not my son." "I don't think you understand, mother" the young man pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm in the middle of thousands of adoring fans." "No, let me tell you," the mother implores. "At this very moment, there are gun shots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lifes last week, and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight...." I'll never forgive you for making us move to Oakland.

BroncoJoe
05-23-2008, 12:21 PM
Bloke comes home from the bar drunk at 4am in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he tries to sneak into bed. He's laying in bed for a few minutes and lets rip a fart. His wife wakes up and asks, "What in the world was that?"

He replies, "Touchdown, I'm up 7 nothing."

She thinks to herself, "I'm gonna fix him." Then she lets one loose.

He yells at her, "What was that?"

She replies "Touchdown, tie score."

Now he thinks, "I'm gonna fix her." He's laying there for about 10 minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard he craps in bed.

The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"

He replied, "Half time, switch sides."

BroncoJoe
05-23-2008, 12:22 PM
An anxious woman goes to her doctor. "Doctor," she asks nervously, "I'm a bit worried - can you get pregnant from anal intercourse?"
"Of course," replies the doctor, "Where do you think Oakland Raider fans come from?"

BOSSHOGG30
05-23-2008, 12:24 PM
The NFL announced today that for financial reasons, they had to eliminate one team from the league. So they've decided to combine the Green Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and form one team, therefore saving jobs. They will be known as the TAMPACKS. Unfortunately, they're only good for one period and have no second string.

BOSSHOGG30
05-23-2008, 12:27 PM
Q: What's the difference between the Oakland Raiders and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.

---

Q: Why is the Oakland football team like a possum?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

BOSSHOGG30
05-23-2008, 12:29 PM
After spending all day watching football, Jimmy fell asleep in front of the TV and spent the whole night in the chair. In the morning, his wife woke him up. "Get up dear," she said, "it's 20 to 7" He awoke with a start and said, "In who's favor?"

LoyalSoldier
05-23-2008, 02:40 PM
Wrong forum.

Not entirely true either. They are Broncos and football related jokes so they have something to do with the Broncos.

If the mods see it that way they will move it. Plain and simple.

KCL
05-23-2008, 02:54 PM
Subject: KANSAS CITY CHIEFS
>
> >Q: What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super
>Bowl?
> >A: The Kansas City Chiefs.
> >
> >Q: What do the Kansas City Chiefs and Billy Graham have in common?
> >A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus
Christ".
> >
> >Q: How do you keep a Kansas City Chief out of your yard?
> >A: Put up goal posts.
> >
> >Q: Where do you go in Kansas City in case of a tornado?
> >A: To Arrowhead - they never get a touchdown there!
> >
> >Q: What do you call a Kansas City Chief with a Super Bowl ring?
> >A: a thief.
> >
> >Q: Why was Herm Edwards upset when the Kansas City Chiefs play
book
> > was stolen?
> >A: Because he hadn't finished coloring it.
> >
> >Q: What's the difference between the Kansas City Chiefs and a
dollar
>bill?
> >A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
> >
> >Q: How many Kansas City Chiefs does it take to win a Super Bowl?
> >A: Nobody knows and we will never find out.
> >
> >Q: What do the Kansas City Chiefs and possums have in common?
> >A: Both play dead at home (and get killed on the road)
>
>

__________________________________________________ _______________

Broncospsycho77
05-23-2008, 03:18 PM
What's the difference between the Raiders and a bag of crap?







The bag.

cbs1177
05-23-2008, 11:08 PM
Griese while calling plays for the broncos said that the audibles are if a color is named then we are passing and if a fruit is named then we are running the ball. Of course he yelled orange.

Superchop 7
05-25-2008, 02:44 AM
The Denver Broncos select......"Maurice Clarett"

sneakers
05-25-2008, 06:25 AM
This one is real popular in Wisconsin. What do the LAPD and the Green Bay Packers have in common?





They can't catch a slow white Bronco. :laugh:

Joel
05-25-2008, 07:12 AM
This one is real popular in Wisconsin. What do the LAPD and the Green Bay Packers have in common?

They can't catch a slow white Bronco. :laugh:
Ah, memories; it's such a tough call....

Which did I enjoy more:

1) Living in Milwaukee 1995-1996 (when Dallas beat BG in the NFC Championship en route to their fifth SB Trophy)?

2) A GB team that spent the whole 1997 pre-season telling us they'd go 16-0 only to lose SB XXXII to Denver? (I'll never forget the look on Favres face when we scored the equalizer in the first; he's ALWAYS good for two picks in any tight game, and both of us knew what was coming after that.... ;) :salute: )

It really is a tough call; all I can say for certain is the '95 and '97 seasons were a lot more fun than the '94 and '96 ones. But the '94 season will always be rough for me to remember for reasons that would only bring the thread down if stated.

Props to KCLady for being a good sport, as always. My rule of thumb on how to deal with her is bash Herm Edwards and try not to think about Gonzales (she thinks about him enough for both of us anyway.... ;-p )

cbs1177
05-25-2008, 08:23 PM
a football fan is a guy who'll yell at the QB for not spotting an open receiver forty - five yards away, then head for the parking lot and not be able to find his own car.

cbs1177
05-25-2008, 08:24 PM
Football is not a contact sport. It is a collision sport. Dancing is a good example of a contact sport.

JoeF
05-25-2008, 09:16 PM
A Broncos fan is on business in the Bay Area and visits a sports bar. He gets into a conversation with some patrons. At one point he asks if they want to hear a Raiders joke?

The bartender trying to head-off trouble interjects: "See that man to your left. He is 6'6 and 310 lbs. See that man to your right. He is 6'3 and 280 lbs, they are Raiders, and, I'm a huge fan! You still wat to tell your joke?

The Broncos fan came right back with:
"nope, I'm not into having to explain it three times".

...bad

Broncos Mtnman
05-25-2008, 11:15 PM
Why do Raiders players keep their Wonderlic results on their dash boards?
So they can park in the handicap spaces.

What do you get when you put the girlfriends of a dozen Raiders fans in one room?
A full set of teeth!

Why did the Chargers players miss their flight for the big game?
They were stuck on a broken escalator!

If you see a Raiders fan on a bike, why should you not swerve to hit him?
It could be your bike.

What do you get if you see a Chargers fan buried up to his neck in sand?
More sand!

You're trapped in a room with an angry grizzly bear, a hungry Lion, and a fan of the Chargers. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
Shoot the Chargers fan… twice.

What do you call a Raiders fan with half a brain?
Gifted!

Why are the Raiders like a possum?
Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

What did the average Raiders player get on his Wonderlic test?
Drool!

Retired_Member_001
05-26-2008, 10:48 AM
I'm not sure if this one has been posted:

A Broncos, Raiders, Chiefs and Chargers fan are stuck on a desert island. After walking about for endless hours, they come accross a Tribe Leader. The Trible Leader has his men tie them all up and throw them into a prison. He then says to all the fans, " You are sentanced to 500 whips. Before this act, I will grant you one wish".

The Trible Leader turns to the Chargers fan, " What is your wish?" The Chargers fan being as pathetic as he is says " I would like a pillow strapped to my back". The men tie a pillow to the Chargers fans back and then begin whipping. After 10 whips, the pillow rips up and the Charger fan has to feel the pain of 490 lashes. He then goes off crying.

Next up is the Chiefs fan who wishes for Two pillows strapped to his back. The Tribe Leader says " Very well" and then his men begin to whip him. The two pillows give out after 20 whips and the Chiefs fan has to feel the pain of 480 whips. He then goes off sobbing.

Next up is the Raider fan who wishes for Three pillows strapped to his back. Once again, the Tribe Leader listens to the pathetic wish and straps three pillows to the man's back. After 30 whips, the pillow gives out and the man is subject to 470 whips. He then goes off crying.

Then the Tribe Leader turns to the Broncos fan and says " Ah, you are a fan of the greatest team in the world. For this I will grant you TWO wishes". The Broncos fan says "Ok. For my first wish I request 10,000 lashes."
The Tribe Leader says "Ok" curiously.
Then the Broncos fan says " And for my second wish, tie the Raiders fan to my back".

:D

WARHORSE
05-26-2008, 02:10 PM
Not entirely true either. They are Broncos and football related jokes so they have something to do with the Broncos.

If the mods see it that way they will move it. Plain and simple.


Plain and simple.:coffee: